Repeats
by MadcapScribbler
Summary: Post mockingjay. when katniss and peeta are on the road to getting what they truly want, something far too familiar gets in there way. I dont own any of the hunger games, there all suzanne collins'. :D
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - this is my first story, would really like some constructive criticism, so if you could review it, it would be much appreciated, if you think I could make any changes, that would be good too. other than that - enjoy! xx**

Here it is, 'the happiest day of my life'. Or so I've been told. But it's not. I'm possibly the most nervous person in the world right now. Today I marry Peeta; the boy with the bread, the second half of district twelve's star-crossed lovers. Today has to be perfect, for him; all he's ever wanted is a family. A wife. A child. That is one of the reasons that makes today less bearable.

Reason 1: I'm scared that it won't be perfect. If it's not, I would feel like I've failed Peeta; something I couldn't live with myself for.

Reason 2: I never imagined this day would come. I've imagined myself dead more times than I've thought about getting married, but even so, this day will be hard to face without certain people. Madge, Cinna and Prim; some of the people that I loved the most, who won't be there because of snow – even the thought of the snake like eyes sends shivers down my spine.

Reason 3: Peeta wants an explanation.

Currently, I am sat at the end of my bed, and my mother is braiding my hair, like she did on the day of the reaping. I'm wearing a green satin wedding dress, designed by Cinna. One of the only things I have left to remind me of him was a book of designs he gave me to prove I had a "talent" after we won the first games. I found it a few years ago, but kept it to myself. Cinna was mine, not Peeta's; anyway he wouldn't understand. When we announced the engagement, the one thing Greasy Sae wanted to do was make the dress. I showed her my favourite design, a knee-length forest green dress made of satin, and gave her money to buy the materials from district 8. I rub the satin between my first finger and thumb, which calms me down. As we speak, Peeta is at Haymitch's getting ready and my mother is helping me here.  
"There you go" my mother says as she places the last hair pin into my hair.  
"Thanks" I say, managing to give her a hug. Although it's been five years since the end of the rebellion, since we said goodbye to the old Panem, I still find my relationship with my mother… "Awkward"  
Thankfully there is a knock at the door and I can end the awkward hug to answer it. I walk downstairs, making sure not to crumple my dress. I open the door to find Sae and her granddaughter, grey.

"Katniss" sae says, it looks as if she is going to cry "You look beautiful" she says as she embraces me.  
"Well, the dress was made by the best" I say.  
"I made you this" grey says as she hands me a stone sculpture of a bird, for once it's not a mockingjay. No, this time it's a dove, carved out of black stone.  
"Wow, grey it's beautiful. I love it; and Peeta will too." I say. This makes her smile. Grey is probably around 14 and looks after her grandmother very well. She is a very gifted sculptor, and is fascinated by Peeta's art. She reminds me of Peeta a lot. Curly blonde hair and blue eyes, they could be related. Grey and her grandmother are dressed for the occasion, and I can't help thinking about how well the simple bright blue summer dress suits grey, obviously sae's work. Sae, on the other hand, is wearing a midnight blue dress. I invite them in and make some tea, once again being careful not to ruin the dress. I wonder whether Peeta will notice Cinna's work, or sae's. I hope he would. Thinking about the dress, I realised that there is a way that Madge and Prim can be at the wedding too.  
"Sorry" I say as I put down my tea. "I'll be back in a minute" I run upstairs, past my mother, not even caring about ruining the dress now, I just care about what I'm looking for. I run into my room and head straight for the chest of drawers. "Where is it, where is it?" I mumble to myself, until finally  
"Yes!" I let out a small shriek.

There it is, the Small duck pendant, which Peeta made me. He melted down the mockingjay pin; Madge had given to me as a token for the games- which turned out to be the symbol of rebellion, and moulded it into the shape of a little duck, to remind me of prim. I didn't wear it though; it was proof that they were gone; something I didn't want proof of. But today, I feel I can accept that they haven't gone, they never will. There not here, but they always will be. I put the pendant on and sits just above my chest, over my heart. For a while, I just sit on my bed and think, about how I can relax slightly now, now that one of the reasons has been cut from the list. I am brought back to reality when there is another knock at the door, I stare at the clock. 3:00 in the afternoon. My stomach twists as I know who that will be, I don't get up. I don't even move from this spot.

I picture the wedding. We are getting married in the meadow; I wouldn't want it to be anywhere else. Delly's husband Thom, who is also one of gale's old friends, will be marrying us. He is the only one that is qualified to in 12. Gale's family will be there; including gale, who I haven't seen in a long time. Peeta insisted on him coming, he knew I wouldn't feel right if my best friend wasn't there. Effie will be attending, and of course Greasy sae and grey. But most importantly, the person who is stood at the doorstep right now will be more than attending. At this moment my mother is welcoming in Haymitch, who will be taking the father's role of "giving me away"

Once again I have to be brought back to reality by somebody, this time my mother. "Katniss? Katniss, come on – Haymitch is here, so I'm going to go with sae and grey" by this point she's in my room, holding my hand. "We'll see you later, good luck" she embraces me, and with that she's off. I wait until I hear the front door click shut before leaving my room. I slip on my shoes and decide I shouldn't leave Haymitch waiting. I walk down the stairs and find it hard to believe that the man I see in front of me is the same man that face-dived off the stage at my first reaping; the same drunken man of whom Peeta and I had to limit the alcohol intake. Haymitch stands in front of me, wearing a suit that is either new, or has recently been washed for the occasion, Peeta's been looking after him. Even he seems a little nervous.  
"Wow, Haymitch" I ready my mouth to say more, but there isn't anything else to say "…Just… wow" I say, a little lost for words  
"You don't look too bad yourself sweetheart" he mocks. But then his face turns from laughter to pride. "But seriously, I'm proud of you. And loverboy; of course." He says, joking again.  
"Haymitch… I. I just wanted to say…" I breathe in "Thank you" I sigh. He looks confused, so I explain. "You kept us alive, you kept him alive, This day wouldn't happen if it weren't for you, even if you were too drunk to realize it half the time" It's weird opening up to Haymitch, it feels… unnatural. Haymitch doesn't say anything, but the next thing that happens is very strange. I think Haymitch… hugs me. I hug him back, because I realise; Haymitch really is proud of us.  
"Right, better get you off to bread boy. He's the one that you should be hugging today, sweetheart, not me." He checks his cufflinks and links my arm in his.

The walk to the meadow is not long, roughly a five minutes from our house. The electric fence was taken down and replaced by a gate a long time ago, but I still find myself checking for a buzz  
"got to get out of that habit, sweetheart" Haymitch jokes, but it makes me self-conscious. I can see everyone at the bottom of the meadow, and can hear Rory playing the guitar. Peeta and I got it for him from our last visit to the capital for his birthday. He's gotten really good at it and offered to play today. Rory is now 18, Rory is 16 and little posy is 11 now. Posy looks a lot like a young Hazelle. When we get to the actual wedding party, I find myself gripping Haymitch's arm a little tighter. He then takes my hand and passes it to Peeta's. Haymitch gives me a nod of approval, like he used to when we were first declared victors. When this was an act. I look into Peeta's eyes. He wears a black suit and bow tie, his blonde curls glistening in the sun. "Hey" I whisper. By now I've forgotten everything except who I'm with. "Hey" he whispers back in his very soft, beautiful voice. I must have been unconsciously participating for the wedding, as the next thing I hear is  
"I now pronounce you man and wife" by Thom whose voice is now very proud. He turns to Peeta "You may now kiss the bride" he says. We kiss as our friends and family watch us, and cheer. The kiss reminds me of the one we had that night in the cave, the first real kiss; the first one that wasn't just for food or sponsors, but because we needed each other. The next few minutes is full of congratulations, and pats on the back. But then, my mother guides people back to the house to pick up baskets of food. Peeta and I are left alone for a while.

"Good afternoon, _Mrs Mellark_." Peeta says, as his eyes twinkle under the sun. "And may I say, what a beautiful dress that is that you are wearing"  
"Thanks" I say he can sense the pain in my voice. His eyes stop twinkling and his smile drops.  
" Katniss, what's up?" he asks.  
"It's… it's nothing" I say. I've never been a good liar. He knows immediately what's wrong.  
"The dress, it's one of Cinna's isn't it?" he says. I look up into his eyes as I hold his hands  
"I miss him Peeta" I say starting to feel some tears hovering over the edges of my eyes "Why did no-one do anything before us? why were we the first to try and stop snow?" by now I'm on the edge.  
Peeta holds my arms.  
"Shhhh." He says – calming me down. "Katniss, it's okay. I know you miss Cinna, I do too, but I can't bring him back." I manage to stop the tears,  
"I know, I know." I say  
"Are you sure you're alright?" he asks "It's not like you to get so worked up about things"  
"I'm fine. Anyway, don't worry about me. Enjoy yourself" I tell him  
"Don't worry about you? You're my wife; it's my job to worry" he laughs. His face brightens at the fact that we're married.

My mother comes back with about a million picnic baskets and various other containers of food. The day continues on with food, music, games, dancing, smiling and laughing. I don't know where Peeta learned to dance, but he's great at it. Haymitch tried to teach me, but it failed, so Haymitch gave up and got drunk. Everyone is having a good time; including Peeta, but I can't help feeling like something's wrong, something's… different.

By the evening, most people have gone home, the only people left here in the meadow are Peeta, me, Delly, Thom and Gale. It's nice to see Gale and Thom together again. Gale's only in town for the week; he has to go back to 2 eventually. He comes round to see his family every year, only once or twice, but this was special. I didn't want him to come. Ever since the revolution, he's been broken. Sae told me that he's been like that for a while, since he saw me and Peeta in the 74th games, she said he was never quite the same again. Watching him smile is wonderful though, to see him less crushed, and like he was 10 years ago, back when things were normal between us.  
"Well, we better be off, guys." Thom says. "Congratulations" Delly stands up behind him and smiles at us – before yawning, and resting her head against Thom's chest.  
"I better go too" gale says. "Congrats catnip" he says as he scruffs my hair. "You take care of her" he says to Peeta and pats him on the shoulder. He walks up through the meadow and into the distance. I rest my head on Peeta's lap as we sit in the grass and watch the sun set over district 12. We sit in silence for a few minutes, but Peeta can't help himself.  
"Katniss, what's wrong. Is it nightmares, do you feel sick, just tell me" he bursts out. I pretend not to hear him. "Katniss" he repeats. Suddenly my head sticks up.  
"Can you hear that?" I ask  
"Katni-"  
"No Peeta, seriously!" I interrupt. He looks a little taken back. "No. I can't, why? Can you hear something?" All I can hear is loud sharp buzzes replacing Peeta's soft voice. They continue to get louder and louder until they just…stop.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N -Thanks for reading guys, please review :) even if its anonymous, even if its advise, constructive criticism... whatever. The next two chapters will be up soon, definitely by Monday!  
**

Peeta's_ talking to me, but I can't hear him. Then something blows up behind me and we're back in the first games; I'm holding rue's limp motionless body. It's too late to save her, but before I can do anything, anything that will help, blood and roses drip onto her face. I look up to find the source of the blood; President Snow's jacket pocket. He reaches down and picks up rue's doll like body and squeezes her, crushing her under his fingers._

I wake up screaming. Peeta puts his hand on my arm. "Shhhh. Katniss. It's ok. I'm here" Peeta's still in his suit, but my satin dress has been replaced by a plain hospital nightgown. I'm lying in a bed in a small room, it looks like one of the rooms from 12's only hospital – The Primrose Everdeen General hospital.  
"Peeta?"  
"Katniss it's ok… go back to sleep"  
"What about you?" I say – he's clearly not had any sleep tonight.  
"I'm staying right here" Normally, I would argue, but tonight, I'm clearly beaten.

I close my eyes for what seems to be a few seconds but when I wake up, Peeta is gone. I think about getting up, but hear footsteps; so shut my eyes and pretend to sleep. I hear the door click open.  
"So what exactly are you saying" Peeta's voice is almost unrecognisable, not soft and sweet, but worried and harsh.  
"Mr Mellark. Katniss' mental health is deteriorating; her years in the games are coming back to bite her in the neck, and it won't be fun for her. You need to be there for her at all costs." I'm struggling to keep my eyes shut.  
"Are you suggesting I'm not there for her already?" his tone turns from worry to anger "And what do you mean "her mental health is deteriorating"?" he starts to raise his voice.  
"Mr Mellark, please. I'm not suggesting that you are doing anything wrong on your part, I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way" The other voice- I'm guessing a doctor- starts. "What I meant was, Katniss will find herself having worse nightmares, hallucinations, trouble sleeping, and will often snap into a past reality, she could find herself in the games again – for example. I'm very sorry to tell you this, but it could get very bad" There's a long pause.  
"What do you mean…'bad'" he says.  
"Mr Mellark, I'm not saying that anything will happen too rapidly but the effects on her brain could start to create a snowball effect. I guess what I'm saying is eventually…" he trails off. "Eventually, we could lose her" I can sense that Peeta is about to get angry, so I decide to speak up. I sit up straight and stare at the two of them.  
"Thank you doc; could Peeta and I have a minute" I snap. They both look a little startled.  
"Uhhh…. Yeah sure" he says and leaves the room. I try and manoeuvre up, but soon become aware that my ankle is in serious pain, and Peeta rushes to the chair at my side to help me up.  
"You wanna explain?" I say as he puts one arm around me and kisses my head. He sighs.  
"You were hallucinating last night, after the wedding. You didn't actually hear anything, no buzzes, nothing. When you collapsed, I panicked, so I brought you here, where they basically told me that- well to cut a long story short- you are mad and going to die." He says. "But I promise I won't let that happen." He holds my hands. His eyes have reverted from blue to grey.  
"…I meant about my foot" I tell him. He laughs.  
"You twisted your ankle when you collapsed." He sniffs. I hurts me to see him sad, to see his eyes glazed over with tears. If I go, he'll have no-one. His parents died in the bombing in 12, the only people he'll have are Delly and Thom. I put my head on his chest.  
"Peeta, Remember what you said to me that time we were in the cave, in our first games. I asked you what you would give the world for and you said-"  
"A family… and you" he says, getting quieter, throughout the sentence. I look at him brush the hair out of his face.  
"Well" I start. I take a deep breath in. "You've already got me. what if we try and…" my voice trails off "What if we try and do the first one?" I say. Peeta's eyes brighten, but quickly dull down.  
"Katniss – if you're only saying that for me, you don-"  
"No, I… I want to" I say. There it was again, his eyes brighten and sparkle, like they did the second time he asked me to marry him. The time it wasn't televised, the time we weren't being threatened by snow.  
"Ok, yes. Let's try it" his voice goes up. I kiss him, his lips are warm and soft and he holds me in his arms. I feel safe. But then I feel tears. I've let myself think about what is actually being said.  
"Peeta…" I whisper  
"Yeah?"  
"I am really going to die" He hugs me tighter.  
"Not on my watch sweetheart. Let's face it – if you did Gale would kill me, if Haymitch didn't get to me first." He jokes. "And how could I let anything happen to you now? Now that we're gonna have a child!"

We've been trying to conceive for 6 months now; to be honest I'm starting to lose hope. I sit on the end of our bed. It seems stupid, considering he just left for work, but I miss Peeta. He's been taking more time off work recently, so he can look after me. But today was different. Today, I made him go to work, because I'm fine. I haven't had a nightmare in months, and haven't had any more hallucinations since the wedding. I've been awake for hours but I still feel overly tired. I should probably get some sleep, but I'm also hungry so I get up and get dressed, I put on a green shirt (which feels a little tight, but I have had it for ages) and black trousers.

In the kitchen, Peeta's left me some fresh bread and rabbit; one of my favourites! I grab a piece of bread but before I put it in my mouth, I decide I don't want it. What I do fancy though, is something fresh – so I decide to pay Peeta a visit.

When I get to the bakery, I'm greeted by Thom, who helps Peeta out on weekends.  
"Hey Kat" he says, It seems everyone has a different name for me in 12.  
"Hey Thom, is Peeta around?" I ask.  
"Yeah, I think he's in the kitchen" he says. I give him a look that says 'thanks' and walk round to the kitchen. I find Peeta icing some cakes to make them look like lady birds. "Yum" I say – startling him a little. He sighs with relief when he sees me.  
"Are you ok?" he asks, I can tell he's worried that I'm here.  
"Yes, actually I'm great. But I didn't really fancy rabbit – so I thought I'd come and get some food and then pay Sae a visit." I tell him. "I guess I could do with some fresh air."  
"good idea" he says. "so what can I get you? Cheese buns?" normally this would be my answer but not today.  
"Actually I was thinking of something more sweet.." I tell him  
"Really? You don't usually turn down cheese buns, are you ok?"  
"Yes." I lie – today the thought of cheese buns make me feel sick, which worries me slightly too, but I've only just got Peeta back to work, and don't want to worry him again. "so what sweet stuff have you got?" I ask.  
"Well, let's see. We've got Jam tarts, Cupcakes, Brioche, cookies, mini apple pies—" I don't let him finish.  
"Mini apple pie please" I sound like a child whose been given some money for sweets.  
"Ok, here." He says putting two in a bag. "Could you take some bread if you're going to see sae please?"  
"Yeah sure." I say and take the loaf of bread that he hands me as well.  
"By honey." He says giving me a quick kiss, aware that there are people waiting for bread and cupcakes.

There are two routes to sae's one through the meadow and the other along our road. I decide against going through the meadow, as last time I was there I hallucinated about tracker jackers and ended up in hospital. Whilst I walk, I decide to eat one of the pies. It's so good, better than anything I've ever tasted. As I walk past his house, Haymitch is feeding his geese, and seems somewhat sober. I mean, obviously he's been drinking, just not as much as usual.  
"Morning sweetheart" he calls.  
"Hey… Haymitch" I say, taken back by his almost sobriety.  
"Hate to say it sweetheart, but I think you need to ease of the pies. You look a bit… well _rounder_ than usual" he tells me.  
"Thanks for that, Haymitch" I say sarcastically and finish the rest of the pie, just to show that I don't care about what he just said.

I continue to walk toward sae's; eating the other apple pie on the way. When I get there I knock on the door, to find it's already open.  
"Sae?" I call, shutting the door behind me. "In the kitchen" she shouts. Sae's house it identical to ours; after all she does live in victor's village now. Once everything was back to normal, all the remaining residents of 12 moved in to victor's village, seeing as there were a small enough amount of us to fit. I walk through to the kitchen; only to find sae making a massive duck casserole. It smells delicious, which is also odd, because I usually hate duck.  
"Wow, smells good sae" I tell her  
"I know! So what brings you here?" she asks.  
"Peeta asked me to bring you this" I say, handing her the bread.  
"Thank you. Now. Why have you really come to see me?" she asks, very matter-of-factly.  
"To… to see how you're doing, and catch up… you know" she stares at me.  
"Katniss…"  
"Fine." I sigh "I've been feeling really weird lately. Eating food I don't usually like, feeling sick in the morning, missed a-"  
"I get it. My eyesight may not be the best but I can still see that your shirt clearly doesn't fit like it used to. You're either pregnant or eating way too much. Come on, I'll take you to Peeta and then get yo-"  
"No, I don't want to tell Peeta yet, just in case it's not. I don't want him to get his hopes up too soon." I tell her.  
"Fine, come on then – I'll get you to hospital; they'll be able to carry out a test there." She says.


	3. Chapter 3

I sit there rubbing my arm in the doctor's office. Sae left recently, to look after grey, so I had to face the blood test alone; that was when I started to think it was a bad idea not to bring Peeta with me. I now have to sit alone with a sore arm in an empty room, whilst an overly-friendly doctor keeps me waiting in suspense. I watch the clock, counting each second that goes by. I get so engrossed with it, that I don't even realise that the doctor has come in. When I do realise, I'm hanging on her every word.  
"So" She starts  
"So…" I repeat  
"Mrs, uh"  
"Mellark. Mrs Mellark." I tell her. I changed my name when I married Peeta.  
"Alright, Mrs Mellark… I'm Dr. Emily Christophers. I have just reviewed your blood test results."  
"yes…"  
"And I'm glad to tell you that are definitely pregnant. Three weeks in fact." I feel a flush of relief, and sigh heavily "Is there anyone waiting for you?" She says with a smile.  
"Yes. …At home" I say. "Peeta, My husband"  
"Well, congratulations to the both of you." She says. She then picks up a piece of paper and starts to scribble something on a small piece of paper. "Here is my work number, I'll be your birth and pregnancy consultant and midwife, so feel free to call me whenever. Oh and also, we have your number and medical records here at the hospital, so I will call you next week sometime, just to book you a consultation. Ok?" she hands me the paper.  
"Thank you. I'll call you if need to" I say. I shake her hand and awkwardly and say goodbye, and leave the hospital quietly. As soon as I'm out of the building, I can't wait any longer; I pick up some speed, and sprint towards the bakery. I run past sae's and past Haymitch's, just slow enough to hear Haymitch shout "Forget something? Sweetheart" I don't reply, just keep running towards the bakery. I run through the doors and past Thom, straight into the kitchen.  
"Peeta! Peeta!" I shriek, like an excited child.  
"What, Katniss… Breathe, what is it?" he says. I take a few minutes to catch my breath.  
"Peeta, Peeta, it's happening, it's gonna happen"  
"What's happening, Katniss, what are you talking about?"  
"Peeta, I'm pregnant!" I shriek again. His mouth drops and then bounces right back up into a perfect smile.  
"Oh my god. That's… Wow. That's… it's…"  
"It's amazing isn't it?" I say, as Peeta's a little lost for words.  
"Amazing?" he says as he takes my hands in his. "It's wonderful" he says. "Hang on – one second" he tells me, before running out of the kitchen and into the front of the shop.  
"Thom" he calls "Can you look after the shop this afternoon?" he says. Thom comes out from behind the counter. "Yeah sure, why?" he replies. By now I've joint them both in the shop, which is currently empty. I slip my hand into Peeta's, mine are tiny it comparison, and it makes me feel safe.  
"Me and Katniss have some… celebrating to do." He says.  
"Oh, what are you celebrating?" he asks. Peeta is about to say something, but I interject.  
"Bring Delly over tonight, we'll tell you over dinner." I tell him.  
"Alright, what time?" he asks. I look at the clock. 5:00pm  
"About 7" I say.  
"Alright then, see you later." And with that we head out of the shop. Peeta picks me up in his arms and swings me round. I stumble back to my feet as we walk towards our house. When we reach the front garden – Haymitch is still looking after his geese, and still sober – well as sober as Haymitch gets.  
"What are you two so happy about then?" he says. I look at Peeta.  
"7 o'clock. Dinner at ours, we'll tell you then. Peeta says, and before even waiting for him to answer he picks me up again and carries me inside.

When we're inside, he still does not put me down. Instead he carries me into the kitchen, and puts me down on the counter. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me until he needs to breathe. Then he places one hand on my stomach.  
"Hello" he whispers. "How is my beautiful little baby doing?" I smile. I haven't seen Peeta so happy in ages.  
"What about you big baby" I whimper, realising that I will no-longer be the centre of attention in Peeta's eyes anymore.  
"Ah, now she's a very important person isn't she" he jokes. "Because she's gonna be a mummy soon, isn't she. That means she needs lots of extra hugs and kisses." He says before picking me up once again and kissing me for ages. So long, that I forget the need to breathe and almost start choking. He puts me back down on the counter.  
"Right, better get something cooking" he says, "We'll have guests here in an hour."

At 7:05 there is a knock at the door, Delly and Thom stand together as one, like they always have. People say that Peeta and I were made for each other, but I disagree. Delly and Thom were.  
"Hi" I say giving them both a hug as they come in. Haymitch doesn't arrive much later, holding a bottle of wine.  
"Hi, Haymitch. Thanks" I say, as he hands me the bottle. "I'm guessing you'll have a glass?" I ask rhetorically. I ask what Delly and Thom want to drink and bring their glasses out to the table. Moments later, Peeta appears with a serving dish full of lamb stew and plums with rice. My favourite, and coincidentally is also Thom's. We sit and eat, talking about work and Haymitch's geese and everything from a to b. As we finish eating Thom says  
"So, go on then you two, what is it Peeta needed to stop working for?" he laughs  
"Well." Peeta starts. "We just wanted to tell you, that…" his voice trails off. "We're going to have a baby!" he exclaims. Delly and Thom burst out with a few congratulations and gasps and smiles.  
"Wow, guys. That's great; congratulations" Delly says, as she gives me another hug.  
Haymitch remains silent. "Haymitch isn't it great?" Thom says. Still silent, Haymitch stands from his chair, picks it up and throws it at the wall, before running out of the house; slamming the door behind him" The room goes silent. **_**

After Delly and Thom leave, me and Peeta sit at the table in silence. I say what we're both thinking.  
"I'll go and talk to him" I say. Peeta puts his hand over mine.  
"No I will." I take Peeta's hand off mine.  
"Peeta, please… I've got this. Don't worry." I say. I walk towards the door and grab my jacket from the hook.

When I get to Haymitch's, the door isn't locked, which is not unusual, so I walk straight through.  
"Haymitch" I call. Nothing.  
"Haymitch?" I decide to look upstairs. I still don't hear anything, so I keep walking, as I walk past the bedroom, however, I do hear something. I open the door to find Haymitch lying face down on his bed.  
"Haymitch" I whisper as I place one hand on his back. He's been drinking, not that I didn't expect that. He sits up, and looks at me. Then he does something I would never have expected. Haymitch cries. I sit next to him and place one hand on his shoulder. Not really knowing what else to do. I've never seen Haymitch cry; he rarely shows emotion, never mind cries.

When he finally stops, we just sit in silence; staring at the wall for a while. Then he says something.  
"Thalia Hayes" he whispers.  
"What?"  
"Thalia Hayes… my girlfriend, when I was 16. The year I was reaped." He expands. I don't reply. I don't know how to. He continues. "The second quell; I was reaped, and I promised her I would come back. I told her I would do whatever it took to win, just for her. Everyone thought we were just two kids in love, but it was more than that. Guess what, I won. But I lost everything. My brother, my mother, Thalia..." his voice trails off. He told me this at thirteen years ago; why repeat it. His voice picks up again "Thalia" he repeats "…and my son" his eyes are puffy from tears. "That's right." He swallows "Snow killed my pregnant girlfriend. My unborn child was killed because of the games."  
"Haymitch – I… I'm sorry"  
"Don't be, how could you know?" he says. "I'm sorry for throwing the chair though, and acting the way I did. It just took me by surprise. You don't really seem like the mothering type." I hold my stomach. In all honesty I agree with him. But I'm doing this for Peeta.  
"I'm not. But Peeta is a father. You've seen how he acts with the kids that come to the bakery." He looks at me. He knows that this isn't the reason I'm doing this.  
"Is there something you're not telling me sweetheart?"  
"you have to promise not to tell Peeta I told you." I say  
"I promise… now what is it"  
"After the wedding, I collapsed, and ended up spending the night in hospital. Apparently my mental health is deteriorating and that the nightmares are just the beginning. I'm scared I might die Haymitch… I don't want Peeta to be left alone."  
"Don't worry sweetheart, if you die – I promise to look after loverboy. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. And I'll make sure that he takes good care of mini Mellark in there" he points to my stomach. This makes me feel safer… no. Not safer exactly, but more… "Secure" I think.  
"Thanks Haymitch. But don't worry, I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. Not with this little one in mind" I say. He laughs.  
"There's the Katniss I know." He says.  
"Right I should go and talk to Peeta, tell him that everything is fine"  
"No. I will, I should explain" he says  
"Ok, I think he'll understand" I tell him and we walk back to ours.

I stretch my arms and legs across the bed before rubbing my eyes awake. I stare down at my 6 month baby bump and stroke it gently. Then it occurs to me that Peeta is nowhere to be seen. "Peeta?" I call. I decide to get up and look for him downstairs, so I put on the first thing I find, which happens to be one of his shirts, which almost entirely hides my belly. I walk downstairs and hear noise in the kitchen; I decide it must be Peeta so I walk in. Unsurprisingly, it is but there's something wrong. He says nothing and just stares out of the window. I walk over to him and place one hand on his shoulder.  
"Peeta honey, are you—" He turns around and slaps me round the face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reveiws guys! Please keep them coming Loving them! :) **

The slap sends a tingling sensation right to my cheek as I fall back towards the floor. Sharp, stinging tears glaze over my eyes and I find it hard to see. What exactly just happened?  
"So, the mutt's in my house now is it?" he says. I don't like it, the way he's talking. It's a voice I tried to block out. A voice that doesn't belong to Peeta, a voice that belongs to something sinister and evil and twisted, a voice that symbolises what snow did to Peeta – just to stay in control and keep his power. The hollow voice of hijacked Peeta.  
"Peeta" I say, struggling to see anything through the tears. "I promise I'm not a mutt" I scream, he's throwing things around, I think he's looking for something. "Peeta, it's me, Katniss…I- I love you" remembering this worked once or twice before. He laughs at me, and looks down at me like I am a mutation.  
"Go on then – prove it!" he shrieks. The tears are now streaming down my face.  
"Umm." I sniff. "About three years ago, you proposed to me again, properly. We were having a picnic in the meadow. The sun was setting and you took me in your arms and said that it was the best moment of your life… you remember that right?" He narrows his eyes in disgusted "…And then this month last year, we got married. Look." I show him the rings on my left hand.  
"Pathetic" he says and spits on the floor. "Go on, what else have you got? it's fun watching you fail… _watching you in pain_" he says with this he kicks me in the shins. I shuffle back into the corner of the room.  
"And… And I… I'm. I'm"  
"You're what?" he snarls "Come on little mockingjay. Sing!" he mocks.  
"I'M PREGNANT!" I shriek, as I pull the shirt up revealing my stomach.  
"Oh, so the mutts a slut, perfect… I won't feel so bad for killing you. Whose is it? Gale? Haymitch? Or some other mutt" he challenges.  
"It's yours… _She's _yours"  
"And you won't be killing anyone loverboy" Haymitch's voice comes in through from behind me. I still find it hard to see, but can make out Haymitch's blurry figure.  
"oh yeah, who's gonna stop me… a drunk ex victor who didn't talk to anyone and has never experienced love ever?" Peeta yells. I can tell this hurts Haymitch, as after this comment - he grabs the neck of Peeta's shirt and punches him in the face, knocking him out.

**Peeta's point of view  
**

For some reason I wake up on the kitchen table, with a pounding ache between my eyes and around my nose. I turn my head to find Haymitch scraping up broken pieces of glass and china. He just shakes his head at me and puts the remains of what looks like a plate into the bin. What happened? Why don't I remember anything? Where's Katniss? Katniss… why else would Haymitch be here, he doesn't care about me. I follow Haymitch with my eyes, but don't move. He leans down and says something, to himself? No. There's someone there. He gives his hand to whoever is sat on the kitchen floor, and pulls them up. Katniss. Her face is stained with tears he has a red hand shaped mark across her cheek.  
"Katniss." She flinches at the sound of my voice. I sit up, once again she flinches. What did I do?  
"Katniss" I repeat and lean forward to take her hand, but Haymitch slaps it away.  
"I think you've done enough harm for today." He says. What did I do? I rack my brains. I can't remember anything that happened today. But now it's dark outside. I watch as Haymitch takes Katniss upstairs and wait in our now wrecked kitchen. What did I do? I think again. I couldn't have done that to Katniss – could I? Why else would she flinch like that at my voice… Haymitch appears at the door. He sits next to me on the kitchen table but says nothing.  
"Haymitch, what did I do?" I ask him. He shrugs.  
"Beats me; I was trying to sleep whilst you two were screaming bloody murder. I came round to see what all the fuss was about – next thing I know is I was protecting Katniss whilst you were threatening to kill her." He tells me  
"Did I…" I can't bring myself to say the words. "Did I hurt her."  
"I think you should talk to her yourself." He says.  
"Is that really I good idea?" I ask "you saw how she flinched when I spoke to her" I tell him.  
"I'll come with you. Make sure she's alright…" he says. I nod and then we head upstairs.

When Haymitch finally convinces Katniss to let us in, we find her curled up into the smallest corner of the bed, just like she does after a nightmare. Other than the hand mark on her face, she has deep purple bruises up one arm and a cut on the other; alongside a boot print on her shin. She's shaking so much I want to hold her still in my arms, but I know that is not the best idea at the moment. Haymitch says something to her which I don't hear; I'm deafened by the sight of her limp body. My wife. My child. Both of them could have been killed, all because of me… and I don't even know why. I don't realise for a while, but Katniss is staring at me. I look back at her – into her grey eyes seam eyes; that usually dance but this time they are transparent. Left standing still.  
"I'm so sorry" I whisper. But I still don't move.  
"Why did you do it Peeta? What happened?" she asks me  
"I don't know. What did happen?" I ask her back  
"You slapped me round the face, called me things like a mutation and a slut, kicked me in the shins and told me you enjoyed watching my pain" she summarises. "You were looking for something I think… you said you were looking for what was rightfully yours… By the end of the night we'd both figured it out. You wanted her. – "our child was rightfully yours, that I didn't deserve her" that's what you said."  
"Her?" he asks.  
"I woke up early to tell you – I had an ultrasound. She's a girl. But I didn't really have the chance whilst you were trying to kill me did I?"  
"I'm so sorry" I repeat. Not knowing what else to say.  
"Prove it then… take me to hospital now. I need to know that she's safe" she tells me. By this point I've subconsciously moved to the bed and I'm stoking her arms.  
"What do I say when they ask how all this happened?"  
"We tell them the truth" she says. "Besides, I'm no good at lying anyway…"  
_

**Katniss' point of view. **

Peeta takes us both to the hospital, as we both have problems that need sorting. It's around 3:00am and the hospital is practically empty, apart from a few night guests. A receptionist sits at a desk in front of us.  
"Hi we need to talk to Dr Christophers, please?"  
"Alright, who should I say is asking?"  
"Katniss and Peeta Mellark, could you say it's urgent… Thanks"  
The receptionist makes some calls and types some things on her computer.  
"Ok, you two can go on in now, room 4b – just down the corridor on the left" she says. I tell Peeta to wait here, because I need to talk to Dr Christophers on my own first.

"Katniss!" she exclaims, taking a look at the cuts and bruises. "What happened?"  
"That's what I need to talk to you about…" I say as I follow Dr Christophers into her office.  
"I'm worried about Peeta. More importantly – I think Peeta's worried about Peeta"  
"did he do this?"  
"Yes. …and no. It was like Peeta was someone else." I explain "His eyes went grey, and his voice was..." I stop not liking to think about it "his voice was hollow" I manage to spit out.  
"and you've never seen him like that before?" she asks.  
"once." I say. I realise that now this has happened I have to bring up the past that I've tried so hard to bury and forget. "During the revolution, we had to rescue him from the capitol. I went to hug him but he tried to choke me to death" I tell her "He'd been hijacked"  
"when was the last time he acted up?" She asks. I don't like being questioned like this. _Being interviewed._  
"Five years ago" I state.  
"Ok. I'll have a look at you – check the baby's alright. Then we'll have a look at Peeta." She confirms.  
_

After numerous blood tests and an ultrasound, Peeta finally walks into the room. He's had tests too, blood tests, lots of them by the looks of it. He sits next to me on the clinically white bed, and wraps his arms around me. I still find it hard to believe that he is the one who, only hours ago, tried to kill me. I find myself crying in his arms whilst he rocks me back and forth, rubbing my back.  
"I can't believe I did that. I could have killed you" he says, his eyes too are now filling with glassy  
tears.  
"but you didn't, that's what's important." I reassure him. Dr Christophers walks in.  
"Right guys, if you'd like to take a seat" she says, gesturing to two chairs in front of her desk. "I have both of your test results back. Katniss." She turns to me. "Fortunately, you have not miscarried, which was our main concern, but we will have to have you visiting more frequently to keep an eye on everything. However." She turns to Peeta. "Mr Mellark, I'm afraid that your results weren't so good. You have an incredibly high source of tracker jacker venom in your bloodstream. We can't determine what set it off exactly, but something that was said or done before you went berserk triggered a temporary flow of the poison. It will not be constant, in fact it will be completely random, which is why we have come to this conclusion." By now, my hands gripped onto Peeta's, we're clinging onto every word that is said by the doctor in anticipation. "We would like to keep Peeta in a hospital in district 2. They're very good with things like this, and are qualified to deal with all poisons; something our hospital here isn't very good at." I drop Peeta's hand. "We think it would be the best for the both of you, especially with Katniss' condition. Whilst she's carrying the baby we don't want her to be in any form of danger. It wouldn't be forever, just two and a half months, Peeta will be back with plenty of time before the baby arrives."  
"No" I whimper. "He can't leave; I won't do this without him—"  
"No Katniss. She's right. This is for the best" he interrupts.  
"Is there someone close that could look after Katniss?" Dr Christophers asks him.  
"Haymitch could I guess. He's closest and knows Katniss better than anyone." I feel cut out of this conversation entirely.  
"Ok, could you contact him? Feel free to use the phone"  
"Haymitch doesn't have a phone, he ripped it out ages ago. I'll explain it to him later, personally" he tells her.  
"Alright. Well, the train will arrive tomorrow at 10:00am so you might want to go home get some sleep and pack. Katniss, could you come back here tomorrow, as soon as he's gone? Just so I can do a proper examination" she says – bringing me back into the conversation. I nod, but don't make eye contact. We're then told to go home and get some sleep. Peeta stops off at Haymitch's on the way. I carry on walking, flop up the stairs and crawl into bed.

I'm angry at snow. Why was he so good at planning ahead? He managed to make sure that if he didn't kill us both first, I would die and Peeta would be miserable, or vice versa. I don't get any sleep tonight. Instead I watch Peeta's chest rise and fall for hours, but even he can't sleep for that long. When he wakes up I slip into his arms and cry. He strokes my stomach.  
"It's all for her" he tells me "Our beautiful baby girl, who's going to be amazing and perfect and just like you" he says.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thanks for reading guys! If you like it could you please leave a review (or favourite!) I know its a bit cliché, But they really do make my day! I hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry it's taken so long, but the next one is almost done so that will be up soon, Cheers :D**

Peeta's point of view.

There it was. The train that I had to get on, for the sake of her; my baby girl. Katniss is still holding my hand, I know she doesn't want to let go. I hug her for ages and ages until the train attendant makes the "10 minute call" I look her straight in the face. She's holding back the tears, I can just see them creeping into the corners of her big green eyes.  
"Hey…" I say brushing the hair out of her face. "I'll be back before you know it."  
"Promise?" she sniffs.  
"Promise." I confirm, before bending down so my head is at her stomach.  
"Now you… little miss – are going to have to look after your mummy whilst daddy is away, can you do that for me?" I ask. Katniss smiles at this, but then I have to go, or I'll miss the train.

The inside of the train reminds me of the capitol. Not the new capitol, the old one. Snow's capitol. I show the attendant my ticket, before making my way to my cabin. It's only a 6 hour journey to 2, but I've been given a cabin to spend the day in. For most of the day I just lounge around trying not think about anything for too long, but by evening I decide to look out of the window and do some sketches of district 2. Most of the landscapes I see are bleak and industrial; but what else would you expect from somewhere whose main exports are masonry and the military. There is one thing, other than bricks and soldiers, which 2 is famous for though. They have recently developed an excellent knowledge of poisons. As the military goes across all of Panem, encountering every species of plant and animal, therefore they have to be able to heal any poisonous injuries. That's why I'm coming here, to be healed.

It's very dark by the time we arrive in 2. I head straight to the hospital that I will be staying at and check in. I'm greeted by a man in a grey suit; he has short, straight blonde hair and a small name badge on the top of his pocket which reads "Dr. Tyson"  
"Mr Mellark?" he asks, I nod  
"yeah" I whisper  
"Hi. Dr Woody Tyson – your councillor slash doctor for the next month or so. I know you're probably really tired, so I'll show you to your room, and I'll explain a little bit more about what is actually going to happen – tomorrow." He tells me.

My room is in an 'isolated ward' this basically means there are only a few people here with either psychological things wrong with them or, like me, poisons that won't kill them instantly or at all. The ward is more like a hotel; private rooms, a canteen and room service. I sit on the end of my bed and look at the clock. I have to meet Dr. Tyson in 20 minutes, so I should probably eat something. I'm not hungry – but I have to eat every morning, unless told otherwise (apparently). I don't want to go downstairs, so I order Lamb stew with plumbs, in honour of Katniss. After all – I'm doing this for her.

Dr Tyson walks into my room a few moments later, to find me picking at my breakfast.  
"Not hungry, eh?" he says. I sigh back at him. "I don't want to be here" I think to myself. I still don't say anything, just shake my head and stare at my feet.  
"Peeta. I don't mean to sound intrusive, but – seeing as it was a last minute decision, I was just given your medical records, you wanna tell me why you seem so…" he trails off. "…mentally strained" I stare into the distance. I don't know if telling someone would make the situation better or worse. "You don't have to tell me, I'm just offering. If you ever want to talk-"  
"No. I'll tell you." I take a deep breath in. "It's my wife. She's. Well we're going to have a baby in about three months. I can't help but think about her." I sigh.  
"I know how you feel. Sort of…" he says. I scrunch my eyebrows. "I missed the birth of my first child a few months ago" he tells me "which is why I'm going to do the best I can to make sure you don't." he says. Now I'm glad that told Dr Tyson. I feel that I have a new-found confidence in him.

The next few days I spend in the same room lying down in the same bed, being fed three times a day by a different nurse each time, whilst my blood is cleaned. I say 'next few days' but what I mean is next three and a half… weeks. There was a lot of tracker jacker venom in my blood, I knew that much… but seriously – three and a half weeks. I stare at the ceiling. It's about 4 am. Dr Tyson comes in.  
"Peeta. Good news! You've got one more hour left before you can get up and move!" he exclaims. "Your blood is almost entirely clean and therefore the process has worked faster than we expected. You should be able to go home next week!" I grin, but don't say anything. I know he has more to say. "You will have to have an immunisation to prevent this ever happening again, and we'll keep you in for a week or so, but not at the hospital. We've booked you a hotel to stay in for the week. And I'll just come round every day to make sure that you're doing ok. Alright?" he explains. I nod and then get back to sleep; hopefully the time will pass quicker that way.

An hour later, Dr Tyson wakes me up for my immunisation.  
"This will hurt. Only because there is tracker jacker venom in it, so that your immune system will become used to it, ok?" he says. The venom burns my bloodstream and stings through my veins; and for a moment, I feel like I can't breathe. But then after a few minutes it's all over, and the only thing I feel is tired.

I wake up in a new room with Dr Tyson at my side.  
"Oh, good you're awake. Don't worry nothing happened to you, you just fell asleep. Common after most immunisations actually… Right, well I'm sure you'll be ok here. I have to get back to the hospital. I'll come back tomorrow to see how you're doing" and with that he gets up and leaves. I decide to search the room for a while – see if there is anything I can occupy myself with until tomorrow. In the wardrobe I find a pair of white plimsolls, a hat and some shirts and pairs of trousers. On the shelf there is a potted plant and some books, and in the chest of drawers, a pack of cards, a pad of paper, an ink pen and a pencil. I take the paper and pencil and draw. I draw her. Over and over and over. The more I draw her, the more I miss her, the more I love her. After about the fifteenth picture I've draw there is a knock at the door.

I open the door to a familiar face. He stands in front of me, with his hands behind his back, wearing an army uniform and navy blue beret. Gale.  
"Why are you here?" He asks through gritted teeth.  
"I… I. Come in" I say, not wanting to make a scene. He walks through to the middle of the room and asks again  
"Why are you here?" he repeats.  
"Hijacking and tracker jacker immunisation." I state. "Quite a serious thing; do you want to tell me why you're in my hotel room?" I say, trying to stay as calm as possible.  
"My mother said that she heard you were coming, that you…" he trails off. "you and Katniss had a fight."  
"You'd love that wouldn't you? Katniss and me have a fight?… please." I snap. Then my voice gets quieter "My hijacking came back. I forgot everything… even who she was… who I was."  
"You don't deserve her." he snaps.  
"I know. I've always known that. I have never been, and never will be good enough for her. Look at me now, having treatment to stop me from involuntarily killing her. But I will tell you this, I will do _anything_ to keep her alive." I tell him; still trying to stay calm. Gale stays silent for a while, and looks at each of the pictures I drew. He shakes his head.  
"Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you now." he snarls and grabs me by the neck. I start to choke.  
"Be…becau…because…sh…she's…pre…pregn…pregnant" I stutter. His grip loosens.  
"…She's pregnant." He whispers, and drops to the floor. I have to admit, hearing that your true love is pregnant with someone else's child is hard news for anyone to hear; but with gale it's worse. His best friend and true love almost died twice, had to pretend to fall in love with someone else to live, really did fall in love with that person, told him that she wasn't in love with him, got married to someone that wasn't him _as well _as being told that she is pregnant with someone else's child.  
"I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I told her to tell you but she wouldn't."  
"why would she" he says, his voice now very soft and quiet. "She still blames me for prims death, even I'm starting to feel like it really was my fault." I don't reply. I personally believe Katniss is right, that it is gale's fault; but considering he just tried to kill me, I don't really feel like telling him that.  
"I didn't mean what I said by the way, about you not deserving her… you risked your life for her twice, lied and cheated to protect her. I did nothing. I could have volunteered for you in the first games, but I didn't. Some friend I am…"  
"Gale." I say. "Thanks for being there for her" I say, and then it goes silent. We don't say anything for ages, until Gale's pager goes off and he has to leave. I pick up one of the drawings and stare at it.

The next few days fly by. I get checked up on by Dr Tyson every day until suddenly, I'm on the train back to 12. Unlike the train to 2, the train back is almost empty; this gives me the freedom to pace the corridor, the one thing I do when I'm nervous. I haven't seen Katniss in a month, and she doesn't know I'm coming back yet. I decide I'll surprise her with the drawing I did. But now, I will just sleep.

I'm woken up by the train attendant, who knocks on everyone's cabin doors when we are 10 minutes away from our destination. I get up and grab my jacket.

**Katniss' point of view.  
**

I sit up on my bed. I haven't left the house all morning, and it's close to lunch time, but I don't want to get up today; I just wish I could stay in bed until Peeta comes back…Next month. A little jab hits my ribs. I look down at my stomach.  
"Hey! I know you miss daddy to but don't blame it on me" I say rubbing my belly. The jabs turn into flutters across the top of my stomach. "I know. I know. I miss him too" I sigh and I flop back onto the rest of the bed. Something else happens in my stomach, but this time it's not the baby; I'm hungry. I sigh again and sit up. "Come on, looks like we need to eat something" I say to her. So I stand up and walk to the kitchen. I pour myself some hot chocolate and take a bread roll out of the cupboard before sitting down on the kitchen stool. The bread is reasonably fresh; Thom must have brought it round earlier whilst I was asleep. I eat that and then take my hot chocolate to the living room, sit of the sofa with a blanket and turn on the TV. I don't usually watch TV, but since Peeta's been gone I like the background noise. I wrap my fingers around the steaming hot cup and just hold it until my hands are warm. I stare at my ring; concentrating on each tiny little silver pattern that is engraved into the metal. There's a knock at the door; Haymitch sure does have great timing. I sigh and get up to answer it. I pull the door open, but not to find Haymitch. My jaw drops.  
"Peeta!" I laugh, throwing my arms around him.  
"Hey" he says, picking me up in his arms like a child. "Did you miss me" he teases. I laugh before kissing him for the first time in a month.  
"Why are you home so early?" I say, still with the biggest grin on my face.  
"I had advanced treatment. And anyway, did you really think I could leave you alone for two and a half months?" he hugs me tighter, but I have to pull away. I wrap my arm around my stomach as she kicks more forcefully than ever. Peeta looks worried.  
"Are you ok" he says, as his smile drops. I nod.  
"She's missed you too" I smile and his reappears. He leans forward and kisses my stomach.  
"Have you missed your daddy? I've missed you" he says. "Oh" he says, looking back at me "I got you these…" he says whilst turning to his bag. He pulls out a handful of paper. Each and every piece has a different drawing on it, some of me, some of us some landscapes and still life.  
"Peeta…" I start. "They're beautiful" I say, hugging him once more. I pace them on the table and get Peeta a drink. He's freezing; just as I was this morning.

The phone rings, so Peeta rushes to answer it. We don't often get phone calls, so I follow Peeta to see who it is.  
"Hello? … Yes." His face drops, as he holds the phone out to me, "It's for you" he says. I grab the phone in both hands before shooting Peeta a look. I place it next to my ear.  
"Hello?"  
"Hi catnip…" his voice becomes quieter and quitter as I almost drop the phone to the ground. There is a lump in my throat.  
"…gale" I say. Goosebumps creep up my arms and legs and I struggle to get my words out.  
"Hi." He repeats. "I.. I err bumped into Peeta in 2. He told me that you guys were expecting…" he trails off.  
"mmm." is all I can get out.  
"I wanted to say congratulations" I can hear the sadness in his voice. "And, err. Well I'm coming to 12 soon, don't know when exactly, to see my mum. Say hi to Rory and Vick and Posy. Do you, want to err. Meet up or something" I swallow the tears and manage to say  
"Yeah, sure… sounds… sounds great" before hanging up.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for reading guys, thanks to those of you who have rev****iewed (or told me personally!) next chapter will be up soon xx**

It's been over month since gale called and still I haven't seen him. Part of me is disappointed and the other relieved, because seeing him would probably be too stressful to deal with now. Not that I would know what stress was anymore; considering that within the next two weeks me and Peeta could have a child, he is not taking any chances. He does practically everything for me, asks how I am every five minutes… it's quite annoying but I let him, because I know he's excited and, well nervous. I sit on the sofa with my legs on his lap. It's about 7:00 am but neither of us could get to sleep so we came down here for some tea.  
"You know, pregnancy suits you." He says after a few moments of silence. I look at him and crease my eyebrows.  
"What?"  
"You look… Healthy." He says. This makes me smile.  
"Thanks. You, on the other hand… You look…worried. What's up?" I ask him.  
"I'm not worried. Just… excited. We're going to be a family Katniss. We're going to have a baby." I reposition myself so I'm snuggled under his arm and kiss him. He stokes my belly and kisses my head. I turn to face him; his eyes are beautiful blue and sparkling. He's about to say something when there's a knock at the door. He sighs and then goes to answer it. I don't get up, just watch Peeta from the living room. He opens the door and lets someone in. Gale. They share an uncomfortable "hello" before walking back into the living room to sit with me. Peeta sits back down on the sofa and puts one arm around my shoulder.  
"Hey do you want a drink?" he asks me.  
"Umm, yeah just so water please." He looks at gale.  
"You want anything?" he asks.  
"Oh. No, I'm fine thanks." Peeta gets up and leaves.

Gale and I sit in silence for a while. He just looks at me and then his feet every so often.  
"Gale. Why are you here?" I sigh "And don't lie. I haven't got the time" even I'm surprised at the bitterness in my voice. He thinks carefully before he says anything.  
"…because I'm sick of it" he says. I glare at him. "I'm sick of not talking to you anymore; I'm fed up with not being friends, even if that is all that we can be now. Listen I… well you know that baker boy over there isn't my favourite person in the world for obvious reasons. But he makes you happy. That's all I want for you; to be happy. But please at least talk to me, even if it's just a few times a year – just something; at least answer the phone…" he trails off and it goes silent again. Peeta walks back into the room and hands me the water. I take sips of it every now and again, contemplating what has just been said. A few minutes go by before I answer him.  
"No." I say.  
""No" what?" he repeats.  
"No. I don't want to talk to you a few times a year gale. Every time it ends up like this; you just start telling me that I made the wrong decisions. Well guess what? I chose Peeta, because I love him. You're not my 'big brother' any more gale – you don't need to protect me from myself. If anything I need to protect myself from you. I tried to stay in touch, but it's quiet hard to forget someone that killed your sister!" I shriek. The room falls silent. I don't look at anyone, Peeta hugs me and kisses my head.  
"Gale I think-" Peeta gets cut off.  
"No Peeta, I think I can handle it." Gale patronises. He tries to begin speaking, but I cut him off.  
"Hey, why don't we go out to the woods?" I say, anything to stop them arguing. I have a headache, but don't tell Peeta this. I've wanted to go out to the woods for ages; now is the perfect excuse.  
"I'm fine with that, as long as it's ok with him" he says, shooting Peeta a look. Peeta stares past gale and looks me in the eyes. Without saying anything, I give him a look that could only suggest that I was pleading.  
"It's fine." He sighs. "Just, don't be out too long; I'll be here if you need me." A smile bursts onto my face.  
"Thank you sweetie" I say before kissing him on the cheek and grabbing my father's jacket.  
"Be careful" he calls as we leave the house.

When we are in the woods; we sit on a log to catch our breath.  
"Listen, gale." I start "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It's just… I've moved on now. I think it's time that you did too."  
"Moved on? You still blame me for prim's death." He retaliates. I look at my feet.  
"Some things are harder to forget than others…" I trail off.  
"No. you're right, I'm sorry… it's just. I still blame myself. Not just for prim. But, I could have volunteered for Peeta in your first games. But I didn't. I sat and watched you suffer." He says; the anger in his voice is just the same as when he used to talk about the capitol, everything seems all too familiar.  
"Gale. This is what I mean. You need to stop worrying about the past. You never stop looking back at what you could have, or should have done, this is why I stopped talking to you" I spit out. He looks a little taken back. "Why don't we just start over? We haven't seen each other in a long time; how are you"  
"I'm fine." He states.  
"What about work, is it good?"  
"Well; it's the military – so it's a bit hard core, but not like I haven't seen it all before, eh?" he jokes. And that is how the afternoon goes, we talk. Just like we used to do, and it feels amazing to have gale back. The real gale.  
"…So then Jacob had to pull about 20 thorns out of his face" he ends another story about one of his new friends. I laugh at him and shake my head.  
"what?" he asks  
"If only we could have told the old us that this is where we'd be in 10 years' time. In exactly the same place we left off." I joke.  
"I guess so it's funny isn't it, we always dreamed about leaving but look where we are now."  
"I think a lot's changed for me!" Peeta's voice chimes in from out of nowhere. "I err, brought you some tea, it's kind of cold out here." He says. I give him a sympathetic smile.  
"Thanks Peeta that's-" Suddenly a sharp pain attacks my lower back and it feels like someone is buckling a belt over my stomach. I lean forwards and grab my back.  
"Katniss!" he says as he drops the flasks and runs to my side. I grip his hand tight and draw a long heavy breath.  
"I'm ok." I say, but he knows I'm not.  
"What happened?" he asks, I can hear the panic in his voice.  
"Just back pains" I lie.  
"Did your stomach go all tight?" gale interrupts. I nod. "Right. Peeta, could I have a word." He says before looking back at me, "Don't worry – it's probably just the baby moving" he says.  
Gale too has never been good at lying.

**Peeta's point of view.**

I walk over to gale and raise my eyebrows.  
"What?" I say… a little confused that gale has chosen now to talk to me as if I don't hate him  
"Ok, I need you to stay calm." My brow crinkles in confusion. "Listen, I don't want to startle you, but I need to ask, has Katniss had back pains throughout the last few days?"  
"Ummm… yeah. Why?"  
"Right. Ok, I think they were contractions… and I think her water might break any time soon. We need to get her to hospital." My eyes widen, but I know I have to stay calm. I turn back and walk towards Katniss. I scoop her up in my arms and we start to walk towards the hospital.

Half way there, Katniss (who has remained silent until now) speaks up for the first time.  
"Peeta, this is the way to the hospital isn't it?" she asks. I look down at her and smile  
"Yeah" I answer.  
"Am I going to be ok?"  
"yeah"  
"And the baby?" she asks  
"She's going to be fine." I say. Right on cue though, her waters break. We can see the hospital from where we are. She looks down at her legs and then back up at me.  
"Peeta" she says. "I'm having the baby aren't I?" she says, her eyes are already covered with tears from the pain the contractions gave her. I take a deep breath in, and give her a 'knowing smile'. This is enough for her to understand. Her face goes from worry to fear, and I know that we have to get to the hospital ASAP, so I run with her in my arms.

When we get into the hospital Gale rushes to the woman at reception.  
"Hi, we need to see…" he stares at me  
"Dr Christophers" I informs him  
"Dr Christophers." He confirms "could you tell her that it's Katniss everde- Mellark" he corrects himself "She's about to go into labour." He rushes his words out. The woman nods, and then makes a phone call. She looks at me.  
"Mr Mellark, you and Katniss can go through, I'm afraid your friend here can't"  
"That's fine; I'll wait here. Good luck you two." He says, taking a seat in the waiting room. I nod at him and carry Katniss along the corridor. We meet Dr Christophers who walks us to a separate room with a bed in the centre. I lie Katniss down on the bed and help her into a position where she is most comfortable.

About 15 hours later and here we are. I hold her in my arms, as the tears prick my eyes. I sit down next to Katniss who strokes her tiny cheeks. She's stopped crying now, and is asleep.  
"Do you want me to send your friend in?" Dr Christophers asks.  
"No, I'll get him" I say, as I hand her over to Katniss. I walk down the corridor and into the waiting room.  
Gale is asleep on the chair. I don't know what time it is but it must be pretty late. I tap him on the shoulder, which startles him a bit, but he looks up at me all the same.  
"Katniss asked if you wanted to come and see her?" I whisper. Gale says nothing, but a small smile crawls across his face and he stands up. We walk the corridor in silence, and I open the door slowly, trying not to disturb them.

Katniss' eyes are red from tears, her hair sticks to her face with sweat. She does not look up when we come in; she does not ever taker her eyes off of her for more than a second. Gale doesn't take his eyes off of her either; for once he is not looking at Katniss with the same pained expression he usually wears. No, this time he stands perfectly still and stares at our little girl. I nudge him and, without saying anything, I tell him to go and say hello. He hesitantly walks towards them, but is soon stood next to Katniss.  
"Hey…" she whispers  
"Hey catnip" he gently jokes.  
"Want to hold her?" she asks, looking up at him. He looks a little taken back. I just fold my arms and nod with approval. _It's what Katniss wants. _I remind myself.  
"Are you sure?" he asks, gingerly. Katniss doesn't say anything, just holds her up to him. He smiles. "hello…" he whispers to her. But that's all I can stand, so I slip out of the room to get Katniss some water.

At the reception desk (which is next to the water fountain) I find a very unhappy receptionist arguing with a very unhappy…  
"Haymitch?..." I ask.  
"See, he knows me." he explains to the receptionist.  
"It's ok, he's with me." I tell her. "He's here to see Katniss I'm guessing" I tell her.  
"Exactly!" he states and then stumbles towards me. He doesn't smell like liquor, but I can tell he's tired. When we are out of earshot he looks at me.  
"Why are you kids here?" he asks. I crease my brow. I have a look that can only mean '_You don't know' _written across my face. He picks up on this and explains more.  
"I went round to yours earlier, but you weren't there so I told myself I would come back later. When you didn't after about 4 hours, I went looking for you, someone finally said that they'd seen you two and…" he swallows his disgust before saying his name. "Gale. You two and gale walk into the woods, I couldn't find you there do I decided to come here. I was worried that gale had gone crazy… what with Katniss being pregnant. I. I was just worried ok?" he gets defensive towards the end of his explanation.  
"No. as much as I don't like the guy Haymitch, I don't think we should jump to conclusions like that. Katniss is fine. We came here because Katniss went into labour." He looks shocked.  
"What you mean…"  
"Want to meet her?" the same smile that crawled onto gales face crawls onto Haymitch's. we walk to the door, to find gale just leaving.  
"Leaving so soon?" I try to stay polite.  
"Yeah, I should leave you guys some time for yourself. Congratulations, by the way" he says before trailing off down the hall. Me and Haymitch exchange a look. I open the door, slowly again.

"Honey, look who's here." I say. Her face lights up when she sees Haymitch.  
"You alright sweetheart?" he asks.  
"I don't think I'm the sweetheart anymore Haymitch" she says.  
I take a seat next to her as she hands the baby over to Haymitch. I hold her hand.  
"You ok?" I ask. She nods, but I can tell she's tired. She yawns and rubs her eyes. "Looks like someone's ready to go to bed I say. Haymitch hands me the baby.  
"So, have you two thought of any names yet?" he asks. It then occurs to me that I haven't, but now that I think about it there is one name I really like.  
"If she were a boy I would name him after Cinna, but I haven't thought of any girls names." She says. "What about you Peeta, thought of any names?"  
I look her in the eyes  
"Well, there is one name, I kind of like. A lot."  
"yeah?"  
"Ginger." I say. I've always liked it. It reminds me of safety, I don't know why.  
"Ginger…" she repeats. Then she smiles. "Ginger, I like it." She says, before looking at the tiny baby in my arms. Suddenly her eyes snap open, revealing pitch black pupils swimming in pools of Forest green.  
"Wait!" I say. "What about forest?" Katniss' eyes open wider than ever at the thought.  
"Oh my god, Peeta I love it" she says. Then she looks down at the little girl in my arms. "What do you think? Do you like forest?" she asks. Right on cue, she stretches in my arms, spreading out each of her fingers and toes. Katniss laughs at her.  
"Forest it is then." Haymitch interrupts. Then something occurs to me that I didn't think of before.  
"Haymitch?"  
"Yes?"  
"You said that you came to look for us at home, but you didn't say why…" He remembers something  
"Oh, right. Yes. I err. I got you this." He says, fumbling in his jacket pocket. He pulls out a small teddy bear with a tartan bowtie. "For… for forest" he says with a smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry this chapter is kind of short, the next one will be longer! - please review! :Dxx**

Katniss' point of view. 

There she is. My tiny little girl; wrapped up in a blanket and cradled in Peeta's arms. She looks just like Peeta, with one exception. Deep green eyes. Forest green, in fact. She is three weeks old now, and has tiny blonde curls that grow longer each day. Watching Peeta with her is wonderful, she giggles and smiles every time she's with him. I sit on the rug in the living room, curled up next to the fire with a cup of tea. Peeta comes and sits with me, holding forest in his arms. She's asleep, but still wriggling around in his arms. He hands her over to me, and I find myself trying to protect her from everything, scared that if I hold her to tight, I might break her.  
"You look tired" I tell Peeta.  
"Speak for yourself, you look exhausted."  
"I think we are all a bit tired, Gale went home about three hours ago."  
"Mmmm" Peeta trails off.  
"Peeta, you can't hold anything against him anymore. If I can put aside all the things that went wrong in the past then you should too." I tell him, my voice getting quieter as I speak.  
"Ok, come on let's get you two to bed, hey?" he says. I stand up and follow him upstairs, before kissing forest on the forehead and putting her in her crib.

When I wake up, Peeta isn't next to me, and forest isn't in her crib. I grab one of Peeta's dress shirts and pull it on. It's massive on me, but I don't mind. I walk downstairs, only to find Peeta fast asleep on the sofa, with forest curled up on his chest. I make him some tea, and leave it next to him; trying not to wake them. I set the fire up and sit in front of it, warming my hands.

I'm woken an hour later by Peeta, who is no longer asleep on the sofa, but carrying forest with one hand and holding out the other towards me, offering to help me up. I take his hand and he pulls me up. We sit at the kitchen table and Forest sits in my arms.  
"Are you hungry?" Peeta asks me.  
"Yeah, but I think she is too." I say before picking her up "are you hungry sweetie?" she giggles  
"I think that's a yes" Peeta laughs, "Avocado?" he asks. She giggles again as he scoops her up in his arms and feeds her the avocado. "What about you babe? What do you want?" I think about it for a while. Then I remember something.  
"Oh, don't worry; I said I would meet sae for lunch. She hasn't meet forest yet, that's all. And it gives you a chance to go and see how Thom is doing at the bakery" He smiles.  
"Ok. Well you two should probably get going then, it's quarter to." He kisses me. "Have fun" he hands forest over to me. I wrap her up in a blanket and coat and grab my father's jacket before leaving the house.

Sae welcomes us with open arms. She sits in silence for a while, before finally saying something.  
"She's beautiful" she whispers.  
"Do you want to hold her?" I ask. She smiles and excepts so I hand her over to says warm arms.  
"She is just… perfect." She whispers again.  
"She looks just like her father." I say.  
"Hmmm. And you"  
"Really. I think she looks just like Peeta. I hope she grows up to be like him. I want her to be just like Peeta; artistic, calm, beautiful." I smile at the thought.  
"Yes. We wouldn't want another Katniss would we" she mocks.  
"I just hope that she's not too much like me." I stare at her, he eyes glisten. They're somewhat familiar.  
"You know what? Her eyes are just like your fathers." She tells me. This sends shivers down my spine, but it's true. Tears come to my eyes, but I hold them back, managing to force a smile.  
"I guess they are" I say, my voice begins to shake. Sae picks up on this.  
"How about I get you some soup, you look hungry" she says.

The soup is amazing and, when it's cooled down a bit, even forest likes it. Rabbit and oak soup always reminds me of a time before the games, before the revolution. Before Peeta. A time when the one thing that meant the world to me was the forest, not my forest. I practically inhale the soup, I didn't know I was so hungry. I even manage to eat another bowl full. I then help sae wash the dishes before we take a seat in the living room. Grey comes home from school and is delighted to see forest. She looks after her all afternoon whilst I talk to sae.  
"Oh, I forgot. I made forest this." She says, before handing me a hand knitted cardigan. The cardigan is dark green and has golden leaves woven along the hem.  
"It's beautiful" I say.  
"I thought you might like it." She smiles. "Oh. Look at the time, Peeta will wonder where you are, you should probably get going." I know that Peeta won't worry. Mainly because he will be at the bakery with Thom, and therefore will stay there late tonight; but also because he knows that I like to spend time with sae, even if I do spend hours and hours at hers. But I know that sae has a life of her own, so thank her for inviting me and say goodbye to grey. I pick up Forest and leave.

When we get back home, Peeta is not there (as I predicted). Forest looks tired, so I take her upstairs and put her in her crib. I sit at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, wondering what I should do for the afternoon, when there is a knock at the door. I answer it.  
"My mum wanted me to give you this" gale says, as he walks in from the cold. He hands me a small box wrapped in brown paper. I open it to find a very familiar wooden rattle. "It. It was posy's but, well she doesn't really need it anymore" I smile at him.  
"Thanks, gale. Come in. I'll get you a drink" He follows me into the kitchen and sits at the table while I pour him some tea.  
"I don't mean to sound rude gale. I appreciate the gift, but why are you really here?" I ask.  
"What?" he says, trying to sound surprise.  
"Come on. I know you didn't just come to give me that. Why did you really come over?" I repeat.  
"Fine" he sighs "I needed to talk to you." I place the mug in front of him on the table.  
"Go on then" I say, taking a seat opposite him.  
"I guess. I just wanted to say. Goodbye. And… thank you" he says. I look at him, slightly confused. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Going to 4."  
"You're going to 4. District 4? Why?" I don't know why it irritates me so much.  
"Because. I haven't ever spent much time in four. I have the next three months off work, holiday time, I want to see what it's like."  
"Ok. But why 'thank you'. What did I do?"  
"You showed me what I wanted. Until a few months ago – I thought what I truly wanted more than anything was you. But I was wrong. What I truly wanted was what you have, here, with Peeta. You have someone that is always there for you, someone to rely on. You have a family. A home. A daughter…" he trails off. "And most importantly, you're happy." I look down at my feet.  
"Gale. I. I don't know what to say." but I do. I know exactly what to say. "…good luck"  
He smiles at me.  
"When do you leave tomorrow?" I ask  
"About 6 am." He tells me. "I just, had to speak to you before I left. Good luck to you as well. I hope everything goes well, with forest. Tell Peeta I said goodbye, and well… see you… when I see you I guess." He gets up to leave.  
"Gale wait" I say standing up behind him. I hug him, like we used to. After all he is like a brother to me. "Have fun" I whisper, before looking up and smiling at him. He smiles back, half-heartedly and walks out of the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: sorry if I confused any of you guys saying that a three-week-old baby was eating avocados :/ I didn't really know what to write. (besides breastfeeding...) so sorry guys if it confused you, i hope you like this chapter! :D xx**

**Gale's point of view.**

I've been in district 4 for about two weeks now. I didn't come alone; My friend, and work mate, Jacob has come with me, as his family lives here. I'm staying with him, his wife and two kids in there house on the coast line.

I wake up, like I have every morning, to the smell of the sea. Salty and fresh. I get up, get dressed and walk to the dining room to find Jacob saying goodbye to Orchid and Silver, before they go to school. When they're gone, he turns to me.  
"I'm going to have to leave you for a week or two, gale. I've been called back to 2. You'll be alright, won't you?"  
"Yeah, I'll be fine." I say. He leaves pretty quickly, but so do I. I head straight for the beach.

Once I'm there, I sit on the sand near the edge of the sea, letting my feet be covered by the salty water. I sit there and stare into the horizon for ages and ages. I'm brought back to reality by an unfamiliar voice.  
"Are you ok?" she says. The voice is coming from a girl, not much younger than me, with mousy brown hair (which is wet), cut just below the shoulder. She has grey green eyes and she's wearing a green Bikini. She's smiling at me, awaiting my response.  
"Uh. Yeah." I hold my hand out "Gale." She shakes it.  
"Ula." She says, with what must be a signature smile. "So _Gale_, are you waiting for someone, or what? You've been sat here all morning."  
"No. I just. I err" I stutter. I've never been good at explaining myself, especially not with new people. I'm also suddenly very self-conscious that I've been watched. "No." I repeat.  
"I understand. Well, I should probably get going, leave you to watch the sea by yourself" she says, getting up. Just as she's about to walk away when I find myself jumping to my feet.  
"Ula, wait." She turns back to face me. "I, err. Do you want to sit with me?" She grins.  
"Yeah, sure." She laughs as she walks back to sit with me. after a few moments of awkward silence, she speaks up. "You're not from around here are you?"  
"Huh, is it that obvious?"  
"No, you just don't smell like seaweed." She jokes. "Where _are_ you from then?"  
"12, but I live in 2 at the moment. Working with the military and stuff."  
"12… I knew I recognised you!" I crease my brow. "you're Katniss Everdeen's… _'cousin'"  
_"ha.. Yeah I guess I am. Was. And anyway, it's not Everdeen anymore. Katniss Mellark."  
"Oh right, so that wasn't just for show?"  
"Turns out that way."  
"Sorry, you must get that all the time… I'll shut up."  
"Actually, I get it less than you'd expect. I guess people don't like to think about the revolution or the games much anymore. Most people knew someone who died in the games or the revolution; they just like to bury those memories away. But don't worry about it, anyway, what about you, what do you do?"  
"I'm from district 4, what do you think I do?" She says sarcastically.  
"Umm, coal mining?" I joke.  
"I fish. Well, swim fish. Not with rods or spears, I just dive into the water and grab whatever fish or roots I can."  
"Wow." I say. I find myself staring into her eyes.  
"Umm, Gale?"  
"sorry, yeah?"  
"Does your girlfriend know how much of a flirt you are?" I raise my eyebrows  
"and what makes you so sure I have a girlfriend…"  
"You're kidding right? You're single?"  
"Yepp. Does your boyfriend know that you're sat with me instead of him?"  
"and what makes you so sure I have a boyfriend…?" she mocks.  
"So you're single too then?"  
"Yeah." I look into the glistens that tip each ripple and wave.  
"Well, then it seems I feel obliged to ask you if you would care to accompany me for dinner tonight."  
She giggles, but says nothing. Instead she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. I'm surprised to start with, but can't help but kiss her back. Her lips are warm and soft and perfect and I feel like I did when I first met Katniss; but better. For once I feel I can be myself, and no-one will stop that. She pulls back.  
"I'll take that as a yes then?" I laugh. She smiles her signature smile again and nods.  
"I'll meet you on the top of that rock." She points to the edge of the cliff at the side of the beach. "I have to go now, so see you at 6?"  
"yeah" I say "see you later"

I find myself smiling as I walk back. It's about 4pm when I get in so I spend the afternoon in my guest room (not to sound vain) trying on different outfits for tonight. At twenty to, I leave the house, and walk straight to the top of the cliff, only stopping to pick a single rose. When I get to the top of the cliff I find her standing waiting for me. Her signature smile still plastered across her face. She's wearing an ocean blue strapless dress. Her hair it just as it was earlier, only dry and her eyes are even brighter in the dark. I say dark; the sun is just starting to set. I hand her the rose, which makes her smile.  
"Thanks gale." She whispers.  
"It's alright. So where would you like to go?"  
"Could we wait here for a bit? Just until the sun sets? I just… it's such a shame to miss it." I smile  
"I know. I always liked watching the sun set" I say as I take a seat on the Cliffside. She curls up next to me. As the night goes on we don't move. We stay where we are for hours after the sun has set, staring at the stars. It's only when the sun starts to make and appearance that I realise just how long we have stayed out. I then realise that she is asleep in my arms, so I pick her up and carry her back to Jacobs.

It's very early when we get back, so I try my best not to wake Jacob's wife of kids. I lie her down on the bed, but know that my chances of sleep are long gone, so walk downstairs and into the kitchen. A few minutes later, I hear her get up so I take her some tea.  
"gale, did-"  
"don't worry, I just brought you back here because you fell asleep, and it occurred to me that I couldn't necessarily take you home, considering I don't know where you lived." I assure her.  
"We've only been back a few minutes anyway" I finish. She smiles.  
"Ok, well I should probably get back soon. Thanks for last night, gale" she says and kisses me on the cheek.  
"It was fun, we should do it again sometime" I say.

(2 and a half months later)

I didn't plan this, but now I am having to say goodbye to the love of my life. I hold her hands at the train station.  
"I'll be back in a few months." I tell her. Ula's hands tense around mine.  
"Ok, but call me as soon as you're on your way back, yeah?" she says. I look into her eyes, which are being pierced by tears.  
"I promise." I say and then I hug her, tighter than I expect, but I don't want to let go. She hugs me to, so tight I'm scared that her arms will break off. But then I have to go.  
"Listen, I'll be back as soon as I can, you just promise you won't forget about me. Call me if you need me" I say as I board the train. "I love you" I call, before the train doors close in front of me.


	9. Chapter 9

**OK. I'm so sorry that I haven't posted for a really long time. I was abroad and then on holiday and then my laptop broke and then I lost internet access because my router broke...yeah. So I'm very sorry about that; but I'm back! :D And I've written a bunch of new chapters (with many more to come!) Hope you enjoy; Madcapscribbler x.  
**

**Katniss' point of view.**

I wake up once again to find myself alone in our room, with no Peeta or forest in site; but this time I'm not so worried. This time the sun is high in the sky and I know I've overslept, but I still don't get up. I feel dreadful; I don't know why, I don't feel ill, or injured. I feel tired and worried, like something awful is going to happen. What am I doing? Staying in bed won't help me; I've tried it before and if anything it made me feel worse.

I get dressed and then make my way downstairs. Forest is sitting in her high chair and Peeta is washing up.  
"Hey" I say, wrapping my arms around him from behind.  
"Oh hey" he says, drying his hands on a tea towel before turning around to kiss me "you're up" he says.  
"Yeah, what time is it?" I ask  
"about 1, I didn't want to wake you, you looked exhausted." He says. "Are you hungry?"  
"No. not really. Did forest sleep ok?"  
"Yeah, she's getting used to sleeping all night now."  
"I think she's learnt that her mummy needs some sleep every now and again" I say, picking her up out of her high chair. She giggles as Peeta tickles her stomach, batting her big green eyes. Peeta picks her up out of my arms and spins her around.  
"Looks like she's gonna be a real daddy's girl" I say. Peeta likes being reminded that he is now officially a 'daddy'.  
"I don't have a problem with that" he laughs, whilst putting her back into the high chair.  
"_I_ do. You're spending all this time with your little girl, what about your big girl?" I whine  
"I well how could I forget her." He says, taking me in his arms. "She'll always be my favourite" He kisses me.

Next week it will be forest's first birthday, Peeta is so excited. He has plans for a cake and everything. It will also be a year since I last saw gale. I've talked to him a lot on the phone since forest was born, but recently I haven't heard from him. Peeta keeps telling me that he'll be fine and that he's probably just caught up with work; but I think Peeta just wants me to shut up about him. I watch Peeta as he picks forest up and spins her around. She giggles and claps her hands together. I laugh and I'm about to go and join them but the phone rings.  
"I'll get it" I call to Peeta. "Hello, Katniss Mellark speaking"  
"Hey catnip" I hear gale chirp "how are you?"  
"Gale!" I smile at his name. It's funny to think a year ago I hadn't heard a word from him in years, and quite frankly, I didn't want to. It's amazing how quickly things have changed; I guess I have forest to thank for that. "I'm great thanks, how about you; haven't heard from you in a while"  
"I'm amazing thanks, hey, you'll never guess what!"  
"Wha-" I'm cut off by a knock at the door "hang on gale; someone's here" I hold the phone between my ear and my shoulder and undo the lock (I have to use two hands because it gets stuck a lot) I open the door to find a very smiley gale with a mobile in his hands. He hangs up the call, puts the phone in his pocket and opens his arms.  
"Gale!" I jump into his arms and almost knock over  
"Whoa, calm down catnip; anyone would think you're actually happy to see me" he teases  
"I am, you fool" I say "come on, you're letting the cold air in" I say, shutting the door behind him. Peeta walks down the hall with forest in his arms.  
"Who was at the door Katniss-" He stops when he realises we have company "Oh. Hi gale…" he says.  
Gale nods "hi" even though I've come to terms with him, I can tell that Peeta and gale still (and will probably always) have some issues with each other. He looks at me.  
"Honey, I was just going to make some tea, would you like any?" he asks  
"Yeah, tea would be lovely" I reply. He looks at gale.  
"Oh, no. I'm fine thanks Peeta" Gale says. As Peeta goes to make some tea; me and gale go and sit down in the living room.

"Right then. You want to tell me why?"  
"why what?" Gale questions; even though I know, he knows what I'm talking about.  
"Why you called this morning and then just suddenly appeared at my doorstep?"  
"Can't I just come and visit without reason." He replies. I cross my arms.  
"you can. But _You _don't. That's not your style."  
"Ok, you got me; I came for Forest's birthday" I look at him with a blank expression. I know he's lying.  
"Gale! I know you're lying, why are you really here?" Gales sighs.  
"Fine. You got me, I was lying."  
"Lying about what?" Peeta interjects, handing me a mug and sitting down on the armchair next to me.  
"About why he's here" I fill Peeta in. "So, why _are_ you here, gale?" He takes a deep breath before saying anything.  
"I urr. I needed to talk to you guys. And ask for some advice." He looks at his feet. This is a shock. Even as kids it was always the other way around. The only time I ever gave gale advice on anything was after I first met him, He wanted help with shooting.  
"Ok… sure. What exactly to you need advice about?"  
"Actually I meant advice from Peeta." He looks up from his feet directly at Peeta. Now I am very confused; and it appears that Peeta is too.  
"Me?" He checks, as if we heard him wrong.  
"Yeah, you." Gale clarifies. Has Gale forgotten who he is? He's seriously asking Peeta for help? _Peeta?_  
"Ok, do you, urr, want to, talk out in the hall?" I can tell Peeta is slightly uncomfortable with the situation, but gale doesn't ask for help often; so I look at Peeta as if to say "please, for me?" They disappear into the hallway and leave me alone to go insane, so I decide to visit Haymitch. I've been needing to speak to him for a while anyway.

I slip through the door passing the boys in the hallway and I grab my jacket as I leave. Haymitch has the door locked for the first time in ages, so I have to knock.  
"Haymitch. It's Katniss, let me in?" after a while he opens the door. He's been drinking again, _surprise surprise_.  
"Sweetheart. Is it important? Becau-" Before he can finish his sentence. I'm down.

I wake up to the extremely strong smell of Haymitch's white liquor, which he is waving in front of my face. I cough and rub my eyes. I'm laid down on Haymitch's sofa. I look up at him.  
"Ok, what's wrong with you sweetheart"  
"Haymitch. I'm dying."  
"Well, You fell over, but I wouldn't say you're dying." He teases  
"No, seriously Haymitch. I've been slipping in and out of reality more often; I went to see a doctor last week. It doesn't look good." I say. My voice stays monotone for the entire sentence. I never let the games defeat me before, and I won't start now. Haymitch looks at his feet.  
"Right." His voice shows less emotion than mine. " Then why are you here, why aren't you with Peeta; he's looking after you, right"  
"Yes. He is looking after me, but no more than usual."  
"Why?" His voice is no longer emotionless, now it is concerned, more so than I've ever heard from Haymitch. "He should be taking care of you!"  
"PEETA DOESN'T KNOW!" I shout. "He doesn't know…"  
"What?!" He glares at me. "My god, Katniss. You've done some stupid things in your time; but this! This is stupid even for you"  
"What am I supposed to do Haymitch? How do I tell him – "hey honey, how was your day? Mine was great, _Oh yeah – did I forget to mention, I'm dying_" My voice cracks at the end, and my eyes blur over with tears. Haymitch sits down at the foot of the sofa.  
"he has to know sweetheart. I would go over there and tell him right now; but it has to be timed right. And it has to come from you." I burst into tears at the realisation that Haymitch is right. I will have to tell Peeta. And soon.

Haymitch eventually convinces me to clean myself off and go back home, no matter how much I protested. Going home means pretending until gale is gone. I want to stay at Haymitch's; he is the one person that has seen me at my worst. Even Peeta hasn't seen me in my very worst state.

When I get in Peeta is sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. He always reads the paper; he can't stand the woman on the TV that presents the news. I go and sit down opposite him.  
"Hey honey; where've you been?" he says putting down his paper. He holds my hands over my table.  
"I went to check on Haymitch; just for a chat."  
"Oh, any news?" He asks, naively. The thought of telling him makes me sick. I pull my hands from his.  
"No. not really, I'm really tired so I'm going to bed now" I stand up and give him a quick kiss on the head.  
"Tired? It's not even 6. Are you ok Katniss?"  
"yeah, I'm just tired." I fake a yawn and run upstairs before he notices that really everything is wrong. I go into our room, lock the door, get changed, get into bed and cry to myself, hoping that Peeta won't hear.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning I wake up to the smell of bread; which I should probably be used to by now, but no. This time it's different, it's not just bread, it's soup and… roast chicken? I get up and run downstairs to find Peeta in the kitchen preparing what looks like a feast.  
"Peeta?" I smile at the site, but I'm slightly confused. "What is all this?"  
"You went to bed before I could tell you; Gale and his friend are coming for lunch, and I thought we could all use a treat." I go and kiss him.  
"I love you Peeta Mellark." I say "wait, where is forest?" I ask.  
"At sae's like she always is on a Sunday." He tells me  
"ok, when are gale and his friend getting here?" I ask  
"In about 3 hours, why?"  
"You want a treat? In the bedroom in 5 minutes" I whisper, tugging on the collar of his shirt as I walk away and back up the stairs. I get changed into one of his shirts and mess up my hair, because he loves it when I wake up in the morning like this.

About an hour later we are lying in bed together. He has his arm around me and my head is laid on his chest. "I love you Miss Everdeen"  
"what, _Miss Everdeen?_"  
"Yeah, I've always wanted to say that. Everyone calls you Katniss or Mrs Mellark now, I like your old name."  
"Well I love you, whatever you're called" I tease. I look up, straight into his sparkling blue eyes. "Do you remember the day you proposed?" I asked "We were in the meadow and you told me that nothing would be able to change you now, no hijacking or anything could make you stop loving me; because no amount of brainwashing could make you forget how happy you were with me."  
"Yeah"  
"And then when you did go mad for the first time, when I was pregnant with forest, I could tell you weren't completely gone"  
"hmm, how?"  
"Your eyes"  
"My eyes?"  
"I couldn't tell at first, but when you saw her, when you saw the bump under my shirt; your eyes were blue. Up until then they were grey and lifeless. But you saw her and, for a second, everything was ok."  
"Katniss, Are you ok? Where exactly is this going." This was it; I had to tell him. I take a deep breath in.  
"Peeta I" There is a knock at the door.  
"Oh my god, they're early, and I'm not even dressed, You have to answer the door"  
"Me? Peeta, all I'm wearing is your shirt. And it's ripped!"  
"Ripped, what? How did that happen?"  
"I think you know how that happened!" I sigh "Fine, I'll go, but if they ask, I've just woken up"  
"Of course, darling" He taunts.

I run downstairs and answer the door, rubbing my eyes to try and make it seem that I've just gotten up. But I don't find gale and his friend. No. I find gale and… _a girl. _  
"Hi gale" I sigh, giving up the tired act; he knows me to well to know that I don't sleep in this late.  
"Hey catnip, sorry are we interrupting?" He teases. "We can come back later if this is a bad time" he says followed by a knowing wink. I shake my head at him in disbelief.  
"No, no. Come in gale and…"  
"Ula" she tells me with a smile and holds her hand out. I shake it.  
"Nice to meet you Ula, Peeta will be down in a minute" I tell her,  
"yes, I was wandering where he was, do you know what is taking so long catnip?" Gale irks  
"feel free to take a seat in the living room" I continue. Ula goes and sits down. I give Gale a quick hug and he mutters the words: "Does Peeta know he has a rip in his shirt?" Before giving me a cheeky grin and walking to sit down with Ula. I quickly run upstairs to find Peeta, who is now dressed.  
"He's brought a girl with him" I whisper  
"Yeah, I know. Ula, right" Peeta says.  
"You knew about this?!" I say, still whispering to make sure they don't hear me  
"Yeah. Gale said yesterday" I glare at Peeta.  
"Well thanks for the heads up. I have just opened the door to gale and his new girlfriend; who's first impression of me comes from the fact I welcomed her into my home just before lunchtime, in one of your shirts. Whilst Gale makes subtle jokes which make this seem like a normal occurrence." I lecture.  
"Sorry, I should have told you. But to be honest, I think you look great in my shirt."  
"Not now Peeta."  
"Fine, I'm sorry, now get dressed! It's almost lunch, you might want to wear something nice"  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"You'll see" he hints.

I go downstairs, moments later (dressed properly this time) and sit with everyone at the dinner table. Peeta is serving soup and bread and gale is rabbiting on about something that happened to him and his friends in district 5.  
"Catnip!" he chirps "Good to see you…dressed" he jokes.  
"Shut up gale" I complain as I break a bread roll in half and dip it in my soup.  
"So Ula, what district are you from?" Peeta asks as he sits down and joins us at the table.  
"Hmm? Oh, District 4" she says. "That's where I met Gale" she continues to tell us all about how they met and the night they stayed up all night together. And with every word she says I just stare a gale. He doesn't notice though, he's just smiling at her the whole time. I've never seen him so happy. We carry on eating and talking and listening and laughing all afternoon until finally gale speaks up.  
"I'd just like to say something, if that's alright." He looks to Peeta for what looks like reassurance, as Peeta just nods once. "Ula, I have known you for just under a year. But it feels like a lifetime. Every time I get called to a new district or new job; I only think of one person while I'm away, I think of you. That is why; in front of my best friends, I have to ask you something" Oh my god. Is he? He is? "Ula, would you be willing to put up with me for the rest of my life? Will you marry me?" He asks as he gets down on one knee. I'm gobsmacked. I sit there with a gormless expression staring at the couple in front of me. I look at Ula, who seems as just as surprised as I do.  
"Gale. I…" she starts. But then she sighs "Gale, I love you, I will always love you. But I can't marry you." My heart sinks. This is the last thing gale needs. "You care too much about Peeta and Katniss to marry me"  
"Cares to much about us?" I say. I've ruined Gale's first chance at love. I'm not prepared to do it again.  
"What do you mean?" Gale manages to spit out  
"President Snow… He. He was my grandfather. I thought that maybe if you weren't so close with Katniss that I could handle it. But family is family, and she killed mine." I can't breathe. I refuse to believe her, but why would she lie?  
"What!" Gale asks. His voice is sharp and bitter.  
"I'm sorry, I tried to tell you, but… I couldn't."  
"Ula, I think you should probably leave now." I say, my voice is harsh too. She gets up and leaves slowly and quietly. The room is silent for a while after.

The silence it killed by Peeta who spits one word at Gale. "You."  
"What?"  
"You did this. You brought her into my home."  
"Peeta, I honestly had no idea, I would have left her ages ago if I knew she had anything to do with him."  
"Gale" I whisper. "Please calm down. Peeta, honey, why don't you go and get yourself some water from the kitchen and take some deep breaths, hey?" He holds his stare directly at gale for a while, but then finally turns and walks to the kitchen. I run up to Gale. "Careful with Peeta, he's tried so hard to block out the games why don't you go and sit down, I'll get you a drink" I tell him  
"Ok, catnip, but he shouldn't be blaming me for it."

**Gale's point of view.**

I take a seat in the living room and look out the window. She's gone for good now. I can't even think about her without feeling sick. Suddenly I hear a crash coming from the kitchen, Katniss must have dropped something, I think to myself; so I get up to help her. I step out into the hallway and make my way to the kitchen when Peeta appears.  
"Peeta, is everything ok? I heard a crash"  
"What are you doing here?" He says. His voice is quiet, low and almost lifeless.  
"What? Peeta-"  
"I SAID WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" he shrieks. Then I see her, she emerges from the kitchen, slowly and limply. Katniss. She has cuts and bruises all over her arms and on her face and the is an ever growing blood stain just above her knee. She looks and me.  
"Gale. Go. Please, just go…" she pleads  
"But Katniss I"  
"Go…" she's using all of her energy on convincing me to leave and, because she stubborn, if I don't go, she will knock herself out. I run out of the door trying to decide what to do, where to go, who to get help from? The hospital! No… it's too far away and even if I did get there on time, what would they do? Haymitch? I've never really trusted him, but he's saved Katniss' life before. He's my only option. I run straight to the door and try to open it. It's locked. Great. I bang on the door repeatedly.  
"Haymitch! Haymitch open the door." A rather unhappy and drunk Haymitch answers the door. Hey yawns.  
"What do _you_ want?" he says.  
"It's Katniss, She's in danger" I say. His eyes widen and his face becomes concerned. "Hurry up, we don't have much time"

**Katniss' point of view.**

I wake up but keep my eyes closed. I need to prepare myself for my surroundings. "What happened?" I think to myself. Why don't I remember anything? I am about to open my eyes, but I hear something, footsteps.  
"I think I'm going to go now, she'd prefer to wake up to see you two then us three." It's gale.  
"Gale wait…" I hear Peeta's voice, but not his normal one. This one is sad and worried. "Thank you. For saving her. If you weren't there…" He trails off. If he wasn't there what?  
"I know, Peeta, I know." There is silence for a moment after gale leaves. But then the third voice, Haymitch's voice, speaks.  
"Peeta can I have a word?" But that's all I hear before I fall back asleep.

I'm woken up by the sound of Peeta's voice, this time not worried or sad, no. this time he sounds scared.  
"Please wake up. Katniss… please" he clasps my hand in both of his and hold them upto his face. Tears drip down my arm. I don't want to wake up, I don't want to see him like this. But I do.  
"Peeta" Is all I can manage to say. he doesn't even manage one word. He just stares at me, with tears streaming down his face.  
"Shhhh. Honey, it's ok" I tell him.  
"But it's not though is it Katniss?" he says, still crying. "Why didn't you tell me?"

**Hope you're enjoying these chapters guys; please favourite and review, I promise to read every single one! I take on board every bit of advise as well, so please tell me if you think the chapters could be tweaked at all:D x**


	11. Chapter 11

He knows. He knows and I didn't get a chance to tell him myself.  
"Peeta, I… I… I didn't know what to tell you"  
"You should have just said something. Anything…"  
"How did you find out, did Haymitch tell you?"  
"Haymitch knew?!"  
"Yes. But only because I was at his house when it happened."  
"What? I can't believe it Katniss. I never even knew you were pregnant" he says, the tears have stopped rolling down his cheeks, but are still glazing over his eyes.  
"What?"  
"And now you're telling me that you were at Haymitch's when you miscarried"  
"Wait what? Peeta, what are you talking about? …I had a miscarriage?"  
"You didn't know?" he says, his voice is softer now, more like his own.  
"I didn't even know I was pregnant, Peeta" I tell him, as I look down to my stomach. I place one hand over my belly button. He puts one hand on my shoulder.  
"Sorry I shouted at you, I just. I assumed you knew" he says.  
"It's ok. But I promise that if I did know, I would have told you"  
"I know. I know. I over reacted. And I'm so sorry. I did it again." He strokes my hair and no one says anything for a while. Haymitch walks in a few minutes later.  
"Katniss, you're up" Haymitch beams, but there is something wrong with the way he says it. Serious, not jokey like usual. And he called me Katniss.  
"Hey" I say quietly. It is only now when I realise that I am actually in a lot of pain. There is a sharp sting down the left side of my face, and above my knee. I touch my cheek, but pull my hand away quickly as I hiss through gritted teeth. There is a large gash on my face, I can't bring myself to look at my leg. The pain is increasing, and before I know it, I'm subconsciously crying and screaming. I can't hear anyone over my own voice. A nurse comes in and holds me down. She puts a mask over my face. That's all I remember.

"Katniss, Katniss…" I'm woken up again. But this time, it's deliberate. Haymitch is shaking me awake.  
"Katniss. Wake up" he says. I groan and touch my face.  
"Ow" I complain  
"You haven't told him yet, have you?"  
"I can't"  
"I know it's hard, but you have to. He's already heartbroken about the miscarriage, if he find out about this from anyone but you…"  
"It'd crush him." I finish the sentence for him. I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of telling him.  
"You have to do it sweetheart. If you don't I will" he gets up "I'm going to find loverboy, promise you'll tell him?" I sigh  
"ok."

Peeta sits next to me about 20 minutes later, he hands me a plastic cup of water.  
"How are you doing, honey"  
"I'm fine" I say. I fix a stare to my stomach.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Peeta… You know when you were mad at me because you thought I didn't tell you about the miscarriage."  
"yeah…"  
"and I thought I knew what you were angry about" My stare stays on my stomach. Peeta stays silent. "and then I went on to say that, if I did know… I would tell you about it" I cough to hide the fact I'm about to cry. Peeta holds my hand.  
"Katniss, where's this going? …you're scaring me."  
"Peeta… I'm dying" I feel a tear roll down my cheek. Peeta doesn't say anything. He doesn't cry, or scream, or do anything at all; but to be honest I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. I continue to cry in silence. The first thing Peeta does is wipe the tears of my face with his thumb. He cups my head in his and kisses me on the forehead.  
"I know" he whispers. That was what I was afraid of. We both knew. We always had. But we didn't talk about it, or acknowledge it, because now it is too real.

"to cut a long story short – you're mad and going to die" That was the one thing Peeta said to me, the only time we ever talked about it. Back then it was just a joke. But now it's serious. I didn't tell him, but I don't think the gashes on my face and leg are helping the fact that I could die whenever. He visits me every day and stays by my side. The doctors do a great job on my cuts and bruises that within a few days, I'm ready to go home. However, I have a crutch to help with my leg. It's not as bad as Peeta's was in the games, so it won't have to be amputated, fortunately. I forget that Peeta only has one leg, which is why it shocks me sometimes.

As soon as we get home I want to see forest. I haven't seen her in nearly a week  
"Peeta, I want to see her. I need to see forest" I plead.  
"Not yet, you need some sleep first, you can see her tomorrow." He tells me as he picks me up and carries me upstairs. He puts me in bed and is about to leave when I stop him  
"Stay with me. please."  
"Ok, sweetie." He says and climbs in next to me. He wraps one arm around my shoulders. "How's your face?"  
"It's ok, it's a bit numb though."  
"and what about your leg, does it still hurt."  
"Peeta, its fine. If it was that bad I would still be in hospital. Stop worrying about it"  
"How can I stop worrying about it. I did that to you… twice. And both times there was someone there to come to your rescue. What if I do it again, when Haymitch and Gale aren't there to save you? What happens then Katniss?"  
"Well it's not going to happen again, Peeta. We are here for each other. You've always been there for me and I will always be there for you; that's what we do, protect each other." I tell him, just like I told him during the revolution.

As the months pass by, my leg gets better and things go back to normal, eventually. Forest is growing up so fast. She can walk a few steps at a time before tripping, but Peeta is there every time to pick her up when she falls. I sit at the table and sip at a cup of tea whilst Peeta is upstairs reading forest a bedtime story. He loves her so much. He looks at her like he looks at no one else. I remember when she said her first word. We were sat at the table, he was feeding her some form of baby food; she looked up at him with a big grin and managed to spit out the word "daddy" His eyes widened and glazed over. He didn't stop grinning for about 24 hours.

I'm woken up by sunlight creeping through a crack in the curtains.  
"Morning Peeta" I say as I sit up and rub my eyes awake. He doesn't answer. He must be downstairs. I look across the room to see forest, still in her crib. Funny, Peeta usually takes her downstairs and gives her breakfast.  
"Good morning" I say, lifting her out of her crib "hungry?" I ask her  
"Hungry" she confirms with a giant grin. I carry her downstairs.  
"Peeta, could you get me some tea?" I call to him as I lift forest into her high chair. He still doesn't answer me. "Honestly" I mutter. What's he up to.  
I walk into the kitchen to find him, but he's not there.  
"Peeta?" I call "Peeta?" I search every room in the house until an envelope on the table catches my eye. It's addressed to me in Peeta's handwriting. I open it up, sit down and read it.

"Katniss. I'm sorry I couldn't do this face to face, but that would make it 100 times harder. I'm leaving. Not forever. Just for a while. I still love you, still care for you, still wish I was next to you at all times, but I think it's for the best if we spend some time apart. I hope you understand that I'm not leaving you alone. You still are, and hopefully will always be my beautiful and amazing wife. But right now, my only wish is that you are alive and well; and I realise that I'm not the safest person to be around, and if I have another hijack induced rage, I could really kill you. Keep yourself and forest safe, I promise I will be back soon. I love you. Peeta xxx" This is too much to take in. My heart is pounding so hard, I feel as if it's going to fall right out of my chest. He's really gone. Tears start to roll down my cheeks and onto the page, blurring some of the inky words. It's forest who snaps me back to reality.  
"Mama…no cry" she tells me, shaking her head rapidly. I wipe the tears away as quickly as I can. I have to stay brave, but that's not something I can do at the moment.  
"How about you go and visit aunty sae, hey?" I say, stroking her perfect blonde curls. Peeta's blonde curls. He claps her hands together with delight. I take that as a yes.

I take her round to sae's and explain that Peeta is away on a business thing and I'm really tired, so need to get some rest and sae is happy to help.  
"Of course I'll look after her for you, Katniss." She beams and takes her in with open arms. When I get back to the house I do nothing but sit down and cry.

**Favourite/review if you like it guys:) x**


	12. Chapter 12

He came almost immediately after I called. I opened the door and he just opened his arms for a hug.  
"Thanks Gale. Just for being here" I say  
"Hey don't worry about it. You need a friend" he says, handing me a mug and sitting next to me on the sofa.  
"I just can't believe he's gone." I say. I can honestly say I've never felt so lifeless. "He just left, without so much as a goodbye"  
"Hey, he said he'd be back. I know I don't like him very much, but I trust him. I know he'll be back." He reassures me. We stay up all day talking about Peeta. Which is weird, but it's interesting to hear gale side of my stories.  
"So why did he actually leave?" gale finally asks. I know this questions been on the tip of his tongue for a long time.  
"Oh, he urr… he felt like he was a danger to me, after the attack." I say. I can't bring myself to tell gale the whole story, not all of it.  
"You know what you need…" he says getting up. He disappears out of the living room and returns with two glasses and a bottle in his hands. "You need a stiff drink" he hands me a glass and pours me some scotch. I stare at it for a while.  
"Gale, I'm not sure about this…" I confess.  
"Oh come on catnip, just drink it." He says downing his in one go. I sigh. I guess he's right, I could use a drink. I throw it back and feel it burn through my throat. I shiver, before slamming the glass down in front of gale.  
"Again."

**Gales point of view.  
**I get the feeling that what I'm doing is wrong. Katniss has already had about 5 drinks and its clear she doesn't drink much. I watch her as she tosses back her …6th? Or maybe 7th drink tonight. I grab the bottle off the table.  
"I think that's enough for you tonight" I say; trying to at least be a little bit more responsible.  
"Oohhhhh" she whines. But she doesn't put up a fight to keep it. Maybe it's a good thing she's drunk, she's less stubborn. I put the bottle out of her reach, so she doesn't grab it.  
"I. Feel. Funny" She tells me, her voice is slurred.  
"It's probably the drink" I explain. She shakes her head violently at me.  
"N,n,no! Different funny"  
"Ok" I chuckle. I've never seen Katniss like this. Suddenly she takes a bit of a turn and her voice goes from slurred and giggly to slurred and sad.  
"I miss Peeta…" she moans which I guess I expected but what she says next takes me by surprise. "And. I'm dying"  
"dying?" I repeat "What do you mean, dying?"  
"I'm ill and going to die" she states. I guess I'm not going to get much more information whist she's drunk. She yawns.  
"Come on" I say as I stand up from the sofa "I think it's time for bed."  
"wait" she stumbles a little as she stands, so find myself catching her before she falls over completely. "Wait" Katniss repeats. She grabs my face with both hands and kisses me.

Oh my god. What am I thinking? Gale _she's married_. I tell myself. But my heart contradicts my brain and reminds me that she's also vulnerable. I know I have to push her away, but I don't. I kiss her back. And it's not just once, we end up kissing over and over again; her hands wrapped around me and my hands in her hair. It's perfect. Too perfect.

**Katniss' point of view.**

The first think I notice when I wake up the next is that my head hurts a lot. The second thing is Gale's in my bed. And he's not wearing a shirt. I, however, am fully dressed. I get up and run to the bathroom to throw up.  
"Shit" I mutter under my breath.  
"Katniss…" I hear gale call from the bedroom  
"Yeah"  
"Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine" I lie, as I grab my toothbrush. "I just need to brush my teeth…" I call. When I get back into the bedroom gale is standing up. "Thank god" I think to myself. He's wearing jeans.  
"You haven't seen my shirt have you Katniss?" he says.  
"No" I open the wardrobe, take one of Peeta's shirts and throw it at him "Just wear this one" I sigh.

The rest of the morning is full of silence and headaches. We sit and eat breakfast without so much as eye contact. When I've finished eating, I decide I should probably get some explanations.  
"Gale…" I say, still not looking him in the face. He doesn't look up either.  
"Mmm?"  
"What… uh. What happened last night?"  
"Oh. You… kind of. Umm. You got a bit drunk."  
"Right." The silence comes back for a while. "Gale…" I say again. He looks me in the eyes this time.  
"Yeah"  
"you and me… we didn't…uh…"  
"Oh. No no no. nothing happened." He takes a short pause. "…nothing" he says.  
"Are you sure?" I check  
"Yeah, 100% but I should probably go; I promised I'd hand out with Rory and Vick today." He stands up. "Don't worry catnip; Peeta will be back before you know it. Just don't get too worried about it, ok" he messes my hair up like he used to do when we were kids.

For the next few weeks, I fill my days with useless things; just to keep me occupied. I play with forest for hours on end, I try hunting, drawing, cooking and I just slept for a whole day yesterday. I know I have to wake up today though. Doing nothing will get me nowhere; I tell myself. I get up and eat, I feed forest. I do a jigsaw with her but after a while; I decide I need some fresh air. I put forest in a pram and take her for a walk. We go through the meadow and she claps her hands at every butterfly and bird that she sees. I would stay out all afternoon, but a deep grey cloud threatens to ruin the day, so I turn around and take her back home.

When we get back, I take my jacket off and place it on the rack.  
"Daddy!" Forest shrieks I turn to pick her up.  
"No forest, daddy's not here, remember." I tell her.  
"Actually…" I hear Peeta correct me. I turn around to see him standing in the hallway, wearing an apron, with flour all over his shirt.  
"Peeta!" I beam and run over to him. He gives me a hug and it's like he was never gone. We're the perfect family. "Oh my god, you're home" I say. He takes forest from my arms.  
"Yeah. I'm sorry I left, I just… I needed some time to get everything sorted. To take everything in…"  
"It's fine. I'm just glad you're back." I say and kiss him for the first time in two and a half weeks.

For the next hour or so, Peeta tries to get forest to bed; which is difficult, because she's not seen him for a while.  
"She's finally asleep" he says as he joins me in the kitchen. He holds my hands and kisses my forehead.  
"I've missed you so much" I say as I unhook my hands from his and wrap my arms around his neck. He holds me for about 20 minutes without saying a word.  
"I've missed you too" He whispers. "Oh, you've got some flour on your top" he says and brushes some flour off of my stomach. He's about to take his hand away but I hold it there, against my stomach.  
"Feel any different?" I ask him. He looks at my stomach, before biting his lip.  
"Katniss…" he starts. I just nod.  
"Peeta; we're going to have another baby" I whisper. A small smile crawls across his face.  
"I love you" he says. He picks me up and spins me round like he did when we were younger. "wait. We should celebrate… properly. Let me just go and get changed out of this top. It's a bit floury, don't you think?" he tells me.  
"Ok honey" I say, before he disappears upstairs to change his shirt. I look through the cupboards and find candles, wine (just for Peeta, not me) and that's it. I guess I haven't been shopping for a while. Oops.

"Katniss" Peeta calls from the hallway. I run out to find him.  
"Yeah?"  
"You wanna explain this?" He says; holding out gale's shirt.

**Sorry if you're not a fan of cliff hangers :/ (there are more to come... sorry) Review/favourite please :D x**


	13. Chapter 13

I stand there, frozen, like a rabbit in the headlights. What can I say? Anything I do say will sound worse than it is.  
"Peeta… I"  
"Whose is it, Katniss?" he says. The disappointment in his voice twists through me to the point that it hurts to hear him like this. I look at my feet.  
"Peeta, it's not what it looks like" I plead  
"Really, Katniss… because it looks pretty self-explanatory to me. It looks like I found some other guys shirt, covered in your lipstick and your perfume, in our room. The room that you, _my wife,_ has been sleeping in for the last few weeks." He says. "So tell me. How is this not what it looks like" The tears have completely glazed over his eyes by now. I lump forms in my throat, which makes it physically impossible for me to say anything.  
"Katniss. Just tell me. Whose is it?" he says, as if he's admitting defeat. I close my eyes and press my lips together;  
"It's Gales" I confess.  
"Right." Peeta grits his teeth and swallows.  
"Peeta, please. You have to believe me, nothing happened" the tears spill out of my eyes and fall down my cheeks.  
"Why do I find that so hard to believe Katniss?" he cries; then looks at my stomach. "The baby; is that Gale's as well?" he chokes up.  
"Peeta! I can't believe you would even suggest that this baby is anyone's but yours"  
"And you can be sure about that, can you?" no. no I can't be sure. I can't be sure of anything anymore. Gale told me nothing happened. Why would he lie? I don't answer Peeta's question.  
"I knew it" He swallows.  
"Peeta, I was drunk. It was one night. And anyway no amount of alcohol could make me even think about doing anything like that"  
"It seems you had enough to forget everything that happened that one night" He's right. How can I argue with someone who is completely right? "And if nothing happened, why is his shirt here?" He continues.  
"Peeta, I'm sorry."  
"Do you know what makes it worse?" he says. I shake my head. "If this happened once; how do I know it hasn't happened before? And if so, how many times. How do I know I can trust you Katniss, because right now…" he drifts off. "Right now I don't think I can."

Every word he says makes me feel sick. Ok, so I can't be sure that this baby is his. But I can tell that it is. Something inside of me is telling me that this baby is definitely Peeta's. But he doesn't believe me. "You know what Peeta, fine. You took time away to figure everything out, Now it's my turn." I say. I grab my jacket as I leave and slam the door behind me.

I knock at the front door so hard that my knuckles begin to bleed.  
"Haymitch let me in!" I shriek. I surprise myself with the angriness in my voice. He opens the door and just looks at me for a while.  
"What happened this time?!" he asks. I realise I go to him with my problems a lot.  
"It's a long story." I say as I walk in. "But I'm going to need somewhere to sleep tonight"  
"What about forest?" he says  
"Shes fine, Peeta's with her" I tell him  
"Peeta's back?" he asks.  
"that's exactly why I'm leaving"

"Woah. You really screwed it up this time sweetheart" Haymitch tells me, after I explain everything.  
"I know. But you believe me, right. I wouldn't do that to Peeta, not in a million years"  
"Yes. I do believe you and I know you wouldn't even think of hurting Peeta like that; I'm just saying that I understand why Peeta acted like he did."  
"I do too… Haymitch this is all my fault."  
"Not entirely. I told you I never liked that gale kid. And now look. You called him at your most vulnerable point and what did he do? He got you drunk. Don't blame yourself entirely sweetheart."  
"I should talk to him"  
"No, just let him calm down he'll"  
"Not Peeta! Gale. I need to find out what happened"  
"Sweetheart I'm not sure if this is such a good id-"  
"I'm going Haymitch, whether you think I should or not!" And with that I leave.

I hammer on the door of Gales old house.  
"Gale, if you don't open the door, I swear to god" he opens the door and is about to shout, but he sees the tears in my eyes and his voice softens.  
"Katniss, what is it"  
"Gale what happened that night?  
"huh?"  
"That night you came round. What. Happened?" I repeat.  
"I told you, nothing."  
"Then why did _peeta_ find _your_ shirt with _my_ lipstick and perfume on it, gale. What happened?" I ask for the third time. He sighs.  
"We… we kissed" he confesses. I breathe in and swallow the air.  
"Gale… I woke up in bed with you and you didn't have a shirt on. We didn't…"  
"No. I promise, we just kissed. That was it. I promised. Wait, Peeta found my shirt?"  
"Yes, gale. Yes he did. And thanks to you, I think I've lost my husband"  
"for god's sake Katniss, stop trying to play the innocent one all of the time. _You_ kissed _me."  
_"Gale, I was vulnerable, depressed and drunk. I needed a friend. Not a late night hook up with you." The tears stream down my face as I run back to Haymitch's; because the truth is, I did that to Peeta, I did, not gale, me.

Peeta's point of view.

I'm woken up the next morning by a knock at the door. I look at the clock; 6:00am. Who wants to talk to me this early? I open the door to find a very stressed Haymitch.  
"It's Katniss." He stutters. "she's gone"

**The next chapter should be up by Friday; If it's not I promise to have it done by Sunday :D Favourite/review. x**


	14. Chapter 14

"What do you mean, gone?" I ask him. Not really knowing how seriously to take this.  
"What do you think I mean loverboy? I mean she was here; and now she's not here. Pretty much the definition of gone" He patronises. I sit down and hold my head in my hands. I exhale before asking more.  
"What happened."  
"I don't know; she went to see gale yesterday. I told her not to, but she still did. Next thing I know, she storms through the door in tears and locks herself in the guest room. I woke up this morning to find this on the table." He hands me a folded piece of paper. It has my name scribbled on it in a shaky version of Katniss' handwriting. I read it silently to myself.

"Peeta. When we got engaged (properly, that is) I made a vow to myself; that if I ever hurt you in anyway, emotionally or physically, I would go to the one person that would know how to make everything better. Cinna. I know you know what I mean Peeta. So that's who I'm going to. I can't live without you; but I've realised that you probably don't want to live with me anymore. Tell forest that her mummy loves her and that she always will, no matter where I am. Please look after her; you are a great father, and I know she loves you more than anyone in the whole world. I love you too. Remember that ok; no matter how badly I've hurt you, remember the love we both once shared. I'll see you when you fall asleep. Katniss" her name is blurred by a tear drop on the page.

I drop the letter, and start to shake uncontrollably, bringing my hand to my mouth in disbelief.  
"What does it say" Haymitch whispers, barely breaking the silence in the room.  
"She's going to see Cinna" I breathe, still in disbelief.  
"But Cinna's…"  
"Don't you get it?!" I shriek, the tears blur my vision, so I blink them away. "Don't you get it…" I repeat in a softer tone. Haymitch says nothing and nods.  
"It's my fault." I sigh. "it's all my fault"  
"Don't give up. There's still hope, we still have time" Haymitch assures me. I stand up.  
"Ok." I nod "But there's something I need to do first" I say, about to leave. But I stop dead in my tracks. I turn around and run upstairs; returning moments later with forest in my arms.  
"Seriously? A baby?"  
"Where is she going to go, Haymitch?" he sighs.  
"Fine. You're lucky we're against the clock."  
"Right, so how are we going to do this?" I ask  
"Well, where is he likely to be."  
"I know exactly where she's going, but I need to speak to someone first."  
"Ok…" Haymitch sounds suspicious.

I hand forest over to Haymitch.  
"If I get angry, try and make sure she doesn't see" I say and walk to the door.

I knock on the door, but there's no answer. I try again. Still nothing. I try one more time.  
"Hawthorne I swear to god! If you don't answer the door…"  
"If I don't answer the door you'll what?" Gale says trying to intimidate me.  
"What did you say to Katniss last night?"  
"Is it any of your business, Mellark? Because according to her, she's lost her husband."  
"What did you say to her?" I ignore his last comment.  
"I just told her what happened" he claims  
"And what did happen?"  
"Nothing." I just stare at him  
"It must have been something; because you were the last person to talk to her before…" I trail off.  
"Before. What?" he irks.  
"Before she left a suicide note and left for the capitol" Haymitch interrupts. "Peeta, we've got to go" He tells me. I nod and follow him.  
"Mellark, wait." Gale calls, I turn around.  
"What." I question  
"We kissed" he swallows. "But that was it, ok?"  
"Is that all? Because I'm in a bit of a rush…"  
"Please try and stop her. Before… before she does anything stupid." Even though I resent him; I respect his friendship with Katniss. (Kind of, anyway.) I still don't trust him, but he's known Katniss forever, and he has every right to be worried. I say nothing,

We walk for ages in silence, with forest on my back. Until she is the one that kills the silence.  
"Daddy. Where are we going" she's getting pretty good at talking.  
"On a train" I tell her, there is a hint of spite in my voice.  
"Train?"  
"Yes. Train" I confirm  
"for mummy?" I breathe in slowly and swallow back the tears.  
"For mummy" I repeat.

We get to the station to find that the next train to the capitol has been delayed; which isn't the best news when you're in a hurry. We take seats on the platform, still in silence. I start to remember things. Small, insignificant things about her; like the first time I saw her smile. The week after we got married and I heard her singing in the shower. The excitement I felt when I first touched her pregnant stomach. The way my heart stops for a brief second when she says my name. The night that we stayed up for hours trying to put forest to sleep and Katniss sang her a lullaby.

"Peeta, Peeta!" Haymitch brings me back to reality. "The train's here" he tells me.  
"Oh, ok" I pick forest up, who has fallen asleep on my lap and carry her on to the train. We're shown to our cabins and I say bye to Haymitch for the night. I'm in an adult and baby room, so I put forest to bed, and decide to get some sleep myself. But I can't. Something is unsettling me, and it's not the fact that I am going to the capitol to save my wife from killing herself. I watch forest as she wriggles in her sleep. Scrunching up her nose and clenching her fists every now and then. I don't know why Katniss always see's me in forest. Sure, she has my messy blonde hair; but she's as stubborn as her mother and just as beautiful. I can tell that when she's older she'll have a boy like me falling for her at first sight. Whoever that boy is though, he's going to have me to deal with.

I get up and have a shower the next morning. I throw the same clothes on, considering this wasn't a planned trip, and I didn't have time to pack. I pick forest up and take her out to the breakfast cart. Haymitch is there, and another couple who are sat at the back; reading newspapers.  
"Morning" He mutters whilst staring at the buffet table, not moving. He's just woken up.  
"Morning" I say. I have to put a brave face on, if not for me, for forest. Even if I don't want to talk. If I don't want to move. Even if I wake up in the morning and just want to curl up in a ball and die; I can't. Because I need to save Katniss. Forest needs her mother. Haymitch has obviously decided that he doesn't fancy any of the food on the table, as I see him reach into the inner pocket of his jacket and pull out a flask of whiskey. I grab his wrist before he can drink any of it.  
"You dare"  
"Oh come on lover boy… it's just a drink"  
"If we are going to do this, if we have any chance of saving her; you will not be drunk" I whisper harshly over the table, digging my nails into his skin. I can see that this aggravates him and he opens his mouth to speak, before exhaling deeply and yanking his wrist out of my hand.  
"Fine. But you will have to put up with me." He whispers through his teeth. I stop for a minute; but then I start laughing. Because, truth is, things are just like they were. When I first met Haymitch, he was drunk, and I was complaining at him because of it. We had the same goal back then too. Save Katniss. That was it. It's almost like my entire life is just a series of events stuck on repeat; going around in an endless circle. After a second, Haymitch starts to join in too, clearly realising the very same thing.  
"I think I can do that for a few days" I tell him.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Meanwhile –**_** Gale's point of view. **

"Mellark, wait."  
"What."  
"We kissed" I swallow. "But that was it, ok?"  
"Is that all? Because I'm in a bit of a rush…"  
"Please try and stop her. Before… before she does anything stupid." I sigh. He says nothing, but something in his eyes; something determined. I trust him. I close the door and fall back against it.  
"Save her" I whisper to myself.

A day or two goes by and I do nothing but pace the house and worry. After a while I even begin to talk to myself, but I'm forced to stop when there is a knock at the door.  
"I know where Katniss is." Ula rushes all of her words.  
"Ula? What… what are you doing here?"  
"Katniss, I know where she is." She just says. I sigh, she won't give up.  
"Come in" I say, opening the door a little wider to invite her inside.

She explains everything to me, how she saw Katniss running, how she looked like she was in trouble, how she just thought that I should know. She looks pretty shaken up.  
"I'm sorry, I just invited myself into your house like this; I'll go and make us some tea, I know where everything is." She says and gets up before I can protest.

I watch her from the living room; her perfect body skipping around the kitchen, the tips of her mousy brown hair flicking her shoulders as she does so. Why did this all have to happen? She's perfect in so many ways. In every way, actually, every way but one; she's part of the past I helped to destroy. The past Katniss and Peeta destroyed. The past we all destroyed. But every time I look at her, every time I hear her name, my heart stops. She is beautiful. She is more than beautiful. She is breath-taking. No. I keep forgetting who she really is. She is one of them.

We spend a while drinking tea and she tells me the story again, in full detail.  
"So I saw her running along the edges of the train track, and she looked so bad. She didn't look well, gale. As soon as I saw her I got off at the next stop and took the first train back here."  
"What do you mean, she didn't look well?" I say, trying to hide the concern in my voice. She shakes her head  
"She was really off colour, almost white, with deep black circles under her eyes. Her eyes themselves were dry and emotionless, and her hair was matted and knotty." She explains. I say nothing as I clench my fists, taking deep breaths. I stand up and punch the wall.  
"This is all your fault. I hope you know that." I say, rubbing my knuckles, as punching the wall has proven a stupid thing to do.  
"And how did you come to that conclusion exactly?" She defends.  
"If it wasn't for you Peeta would have been fine. He would never have left. Katniss would never have called me…"  
"But _you_ kissed her."  
"Because you left me miserable."  
"Because you and your little friends couldn't accept the fact that I was related to snow"  
"You should have either told me before, or not said anything"  
"What was I supposed to say"  
"I can't even believe we're having this argument" I say; trying to end the conversation. There is a short pause before anyone speaks.  
"Not that it would have mattered anyway" Ula claims.  
"Huh?"  
"Even if I wasn't related to him, you still wouldn't be happy with me."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Oh, come on! Gale don't you think I saw it? The way you looked at her; you're clearly still in love with her!" She yells. "That's why I was never good enough for you…" she says, this time in a softer voice. A voice that has an element of genuine sadness to it.  
"You really thought that? Ula…" I put one hand on her shoulder "You were always good enough for me. Too good some might say." she looks up at me, as I wipe away a tear from her cheek. "I just, when I found out about the capitol and your grandfather… I didn't know whether or not I could trust you." Suddenly, a sharp look of determination takes over her face.  
"That's it. I know how you can trust me. We're going to find Katniss. We're going to save her."  
"Ula, I… I wish we could, but Peeta and Haymitch are already on their way, it's too late to get the train to the capitol. Unless you've got a hovercraft, there's no way of getting there." I explain.  
"Well then. It's a good thing I have" she smirks. "My grandfather had quite a few back in the day. Good thing I was his favourite granddaughter." Even though I'm not all that happy that I would be using snow's possessions to get there, I can't help but smile. I could save her. For once the old capitol has been useful.

"Go and pack some stuff. Not too much mind" She tells me as she ushers me up the stairs. "I'll make some tea, then we can leave" she tells me, and with that I'm gone and packing.

When I'm done, I rush down to find her sat at the table with a mug in her hands.  
"There you go" she says gesturing to the second mug on the table. I pick it up and take a sip. And then another one. And another. Until the entire mug is gone.  
"So, what's the…" I stop mid-sentence, as my vision becomes blurred. "Ula…" I say, as my chest tightens and I find it hard to breathe. I fall to my knees, and try to speak, but I can't make any sound. I just watch as Ula stands over me, covering my mouth with her hand  
"Sleep tight, gale"


	16. Chapter 16

**Peeta's point of view.**

A few more days pass by and the train journey becomes more and more tiring and tedious. Haymitch is getting easier to deal with though, and forest just sleeps or giggles at the different views from every window on the train. I have good days, where I believe that I can save Katniss, and nothing will stop me from doing so, until days like today happen. Days where I get out of bed and think "She could already be gone" and I start to believe it, even though I have no proof. Haymitch looks after forest on these days. I become incapable of doing anything at all, and find myself staring out of the windows until the early hours of the next morning. But today, although it is a bad day, is very different. I don't think Katniss is dead, and nor do I believe it. Today I don't believe in myself. I can't believe myself. I've known from day one that this is all my fault; yet have just found the courage to fully accept it. And I hate myself for it. I've tried to pin the blame on other people; Ula for making me angry, Haymitch for not stopping me sooner, Gale kissing her and lying about it. But none of these people have as much of a part to play as me. I hurt her. I left her. I didn't listen to her. I shouted at her. And if I don't fix this, it'll be me who kills her. I keep my eyes glued to the window as it starts to rain. I trace the drops with my fingers as they hit the glass and slide down the side of the train. Haymitch taps my shoulder, snapping me back to the real world.  
"You need to eat, Peeta." He tells me. There is a sharp, serious tone to his voice. I don't look at him; I continue to stare at the rain.  
"God damn it Peeta. Stop it!" I still don't look at him.  
"Stop what" I breathe.  
"Stop acting like this. Stop spending your days doing nothing. You're ruining yourself." He says, the tone in his voice changing from serious to angry. I stay quiet again.  
"She needs you." He tells me. "Katniss needs you. Forest needs you. You haven't seen her in a whole day Peeta."  
"Why would they need me?" I turn to face him and stand up. "Who would need _me? _I'm pathetic. I upset my wife to the point she wanted to die. And now. Now look at me. I can't even bring myself to spend time with the only family I have left." I break down until I'm on the verge of tears. Haymitch sighs.  
"Peeta, calm down. Listen. We'll be in the capitol by the end of the week; we will get to Katniss. But for now, forest needs a father. You two have got each other. That's it at the moment. So look after her." I stare at my feet.  
"Why are you so determined to protect everyone Haymitch? That was your one job back when the games existed; and you didn't do it then. Why start now?" I ask.  
"Because, Peeta, I did a shit job. Year after year I would see hopeless kids that had already given up by the time I met them. But you two were different. You were determined to win. It would have been easy to do if you weren't so big on protecting each other." He explains. "…and she asked me to protect you guys if it was ever needed." The room goes silent for a while. "Right. Well you need to eat, Peeta" he says again, and we leave to get some food.

After dinner, we head back to our rooms and sleep. I'm woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of forest crying. I shoot out of bed and take her in my arms, stroking her hair and rocking her back and forth.  
"Shhh. Shhh." I soothe. "What is it forest? What's the matter?"  
"I want mummy" She cries. I sigh as I hug her closer.  
"Me too." I whisper. "Me too…"

I wake up the next morning with forest curled up asleep on my stomach. I don't move, for fear of waking her. I move one of her golden ringlets out of her face, to reveal perfect little eyelashes resting on top of her cheeks. She opens her eyes, exposing the beautiful pools of green to the world. She squints in at the sunlight and bats her eyelids as she yawns.

When she wakes up, I take her to eat some breakfast. Haymitch joins us shortly after, grabbing a bread roll and sitting down.  
"Good news, loverboy" He says. His voice almost back to normal, but not quite.  
"Hmm?" I say as I take a bite of my toast.  
"We should be in the capitol by tomorrow morning." He informs me, picking at his bread roll. I smile; half-heartedly of course, because it all starts when we get to the capitol.  
"We will stop for a bit today though, they like to check that everything looks its best for the capitol" he tells me "The government's changed, but the people haven't. The fashion's still as weird as…"  
"I get it, Haymitch." I say.

Just as Haymitch had said, we stopped at lunchtime, so the crew could make sure the train was looking its best. This was our first chance to get off the train; but forest looks really tired so I take her to the childcare cart and hop off the train.  
"Wait up, loverboy" Haymitch calls as he runs to catch me up.  
"You really need to stop calling me that."  
"Sorry" he puts up his hands in defence. "Force of habit I guess."  
"It's ok" I sigh, wiping the hair away from my face  
"Wait. Where's that from?"  
"Where's what from"  
"That." He points to a small scar on my forehead.  
"Oh." I laugh "funny story actually." Haymitch raises one eyebrow  
"Remember when we fooled everyone into thinking Katniss was pregnant? In our second games"  
"Yeah…"  
"Well. Turns out my dad believed it too. He was pretty angry. Slapped me so hard it cut my forehead"  
"But he was fine with you getting married at 17?" Haymitch reminds me of the other lie I told the world that day.  
"That was the thing" I sigh "I wasn't married. I was about to go into the games again. _Katniss_ was about to go into the games again. I remember he told me 'Do you have any idea what you've done. One of you is going to die, if not both, and you really aren't going to kill her. Not now.' So I looked him straight in the eyes and said 'I know'"  
"That was your problem. You were too in love." Haymitch jokes.  
"mm." I agree.  
"Hey. Stop it."  
"Stop what?"  
"Doubting yourself. We'll get her, you know. We'll bring her home safe."  
"What if we don't Haymitch?"  
"Don't even think that Peeta. We will" I sigh. "You know. She won't do it"  
"How do you know that?"  
"Because when you were off being hijacked; when we were in 13, when it was bombed…" He trails off. "She finally figured it out; what was happening to you. And it killed her. She told me that you were all she could think about. All she could think about was what was happening to you. Well. Then she got a bit hysterical and kept shouting about how it was her fault, so naturally they drugged her up. Then when we rescued you, she went to see you as soon as she could. And you strangled her; or tried to at least. But she was still determined. She still believed in you. And look. She was right." Haymitch gets out.  
"What are you trying to get at?"  
"Think about it Peeta; Katniss could have ended it in during the revolution, but she didn't"  
"Yeah, because she was protecting millions"  
"No Peeta. She was protecting you!" he shouts. "It was always you. And it still is. So wipe the tears out of your eyes and be prepared. She's going to be ok!"


	17. Chapter 17

There it was. The sight of it made me want to cry. Cinna's grave. I've only been here once; after the rebellion I made them find his body and give him a proper funeral. I kneel in front of the black marble tombstone, tracing the outlines of his name. Each letter engraved carefully in gold.  
"I miss you" I whisper each word sticking in my throat, not only because I haven't had a drink in a while. "I really do. There are mornings where I wake up and need you."  
"Well I'm here now." I jump at the voice that comes from behind me. He's there. He's really there.  
"I…wait…wha…"  
"I know… sorry. I didn't mean to startle you"  
"But you're… and you're" I realise I'm making absolutely no sense, but I can't believe it. "How?" I manage to spit out.  
"You didn't see me die, Katniss. Did you see my body before they buried it?" I shake my head. "Exactly"  
"They told me you would be too battered to recognise"  
"Well I was pretty battered. But not dead."  
"Where were you?"  
"I ran, I hid, I recovered. That's pretty much it. I'm sorry I wasn't there for the rebellion. I wish I could've been there to help you, But I would have been killed for sure. So, well I guess I took the alternative. I faked my own death."

We sit down for an hour or two and I tell Cinna everything. About the wedding, about forest, about gale, about Peeta's hijacking, about when he attacked me, about Haymitch, about the miscarriage, about the third pregnancy, just about everything that's happened since we overthrew the old capitol.  
"So you ran away?"  
"Yeah" I sigh "I told Peeta that I made a vow to myself. If I ever upset him I would come and join you"  
"But you didn't know… Oh Katniss. No. Please tell me that you're not…"  
"Well. I'm not sure now." I look at my feet. "I'm so confused. I bet you think I'm stupid. Running away whilst carrying his baby…"  
"Actually. I think that baby might be your saviour." He places one hand on my shoulder. I look at him for a while; my face must show my confusion. "I mean, don't tell me that that baby hasn't made you think of him, Katniss." He takes his hand from my shoulder and moves the strands of my hair out of my face. He's not wrong.  
"I think about him every day." I confess "Every. Single. Day."  
"I think of you too" Peeta's voice chimes in from behind me.  
"Peeta. I" His presence makes me jump into Cinna's arms.  
"Katniss, it's ok" He reassures  
"He's right Kat." Peeta adds as he comes to sit with us. Haymitch trails on silently behind, with forest asleep in his arms. My eyes fill with tears as I wrap my arms around Peeta.  
"I'm so sorry." I weep. He hugs me tighter  
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't listen to you, I jumped to conclusion."  
"Well you had the right to!" I say very matter-of-factly. I look him straight in the eyes.  
"I think we'll go, give you to some space" Haymitch tells us, as he walks away; taking forest and Cinna with him. I don't take my stare from Peeta's.

"Katniss, you don't look well." he tells me, placing both hands on my face. He strokes my cheek with his thumb. "When was the last time you ate something?" I shrug. Mainly because I genuinely don't remember. "I don't know"  
"Oh Katniss… I was so worried about you. Every day I thought to myself. 'What if I…'" He trails off "'What if I don't get there in time? What if it's all too late'" He's shaking, but his voice remains steady and calm.  
"Well you're not. I think you have Cinna to thank for that."  
"Yeah. He always seems to come to the rescue." He gives a half-hearted smile. There's a short silence.  
"Were you really going to do it?" he says. Now his voice is soft, but scared. I don't respond, and keep my eyes on the ground.  
"I'm sorry" I whisper, still not taking my gaze off the floor. "I'm sorry I scared you, I'm sorry I left." I end up bursting into tears; with Peeta holding me, as if he were actually holding me together.  
"Shhh. Shh. It's ok. I think we should just get you to a hospital; get you something to eat." He says. Cinna and Haymitch come back to join us.  
"Sounds like a good idea" Haymitch says. But before we can get anywhere, big clouds of smoke envelope the air around us, I watch as Haymitch falls to the floor, forest falling with him, followed by Peeta and Cinna until my vision is blurred and I hit the floor.

I Wake up and look around me. I'm strapped to a chair in an empty white room. Normally I would take a moment to observe my surroundings; but I don't appear to have any "Surroundings" to speak of. Just me, bound to a chair surrounded by four white walls. Where am I? Where are the others? How did I get here? I begin to hyperventilate so calm myself down by running everything I _do_ know through in my head.

_My name is Katniss Mellark. I am 24. I think. Yes, 24. I survived the games twice. I was the mockingjay. I lead the rebellion. We won the rebellion. I killed coin. I married Peeta. We had a child. Forest. She's beautiful. I'm dying. Peeta got really sad. Peeta left. Gale came back. I kissed him. Peeta came back. I'm pregnant. He found out about gale and I kissing. I got sad. I ran to the capitol. Cinna is alive. He told me not to kill myself. Peeta and Haymitch found me. There was smoke. It knocked us out. I woke up here. _

My thoughts are interrupted by a voice on a microphone.  
_"Morning guys, I trust you slept well?"_ The voice is familiar, but twisted. Evil. _"Of course you did. You were all out cold"_ _all?_ The others are here too? Where are they? I need to know. _"So, you are all probably wandering where you are and what's going on, but first things first. Introductions; a lot of you know me already, but there is one of you who I haven't had the full pleasure of meeting" _What? I think to myself. _"Hello Cinna, You can't see me, but I am Ula. Ula snow. Yes that's right. Snow. As in Cornelius Snow." _Ula. What's she doing? Where's forest? Where's Peeta, Haymitch, Cinna. Cinna, I only just got him back. I'm not going to lose him again. _"Right. So now that's sorted, I'm going to tell you why you are here and what's going to happen to you. Don't worry mockingjay, I'll talk to you last"_ Ula sneers.

The silence is agonising. What makes it worse is that I'm bound to the chair. It's not like I could escape, the room doesn't appear to have a door. I want to pace the room or at least be able to bite my nails. Instead I settle with biting the inside of my cheek and lips. What's she done or doing to the others? Where's forest, my beautiful baby girl. She's not old enough to understand any of this; to know about the games, to understand what her parents have been through. What we did to secure her future.

"_So, mockingjay. What's it like to be trapped in a cage." _Ula's voice echo's through the room. I don't say anything. What's the point? She's trying to be smart. Playing mind games.  
_"Not saying anything; funny. Peeta did the same thing to start with."  
_"Peeta?!" I let out an involuntary whimper.  
_"I thought that would get your attention. So, I bet you're wandering where you are. After all I think you know why you're here. Well at the moment. You're in a hovercraft. Not sure quite where we are in Panem. But we're in a hovercraft. So how are you enjoying your stay" _She toys.  
"What's the point in this? Where are we? Why haven't you just killed me yet?" I say.  
_"Well if that's what you want. But I was thinking something different."  
"_What."  
_"Well. I don't think it would be very fair for this one to be left alone" _she says, when suddenly another voice clicks into the speaker system.  
_"Mummy?" _I hear forest's voice call down.  
"Forest!" My entire body tenses. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER, YOU LET HER GO OR I SWEAR TO GOD!"  
_"You swear to god what? Don't worry she's perfectly safe."  
_"Then why am I here"  
_"Well you are going to stay here for a while, until I can think of what exactly to do with you" _She snarls.


	18. Chapter 18

After a day of this, the metal rings unclick, releasing my legs and arms. To start with I refrain from moving; for fear of something happening to me if I do so, but eventually temptations get the better of me. I stand up and move around the room, feeling the white tiles of the walls against my fingertips. It's only now that I really realise what I'm wearing. Plain black trousers that cling to my skin, and a matching top and jacket. My feet are bare and the ground is cold against my toes. I look down at them but get distracted by the small bump of a stomach I have. I stroke it; knowing that whatever happens to me, also happens to whoever is in there. That baby. That little, tiny, unborn baby is completely helpless; counting on me to protect him or her. I sit in the corner, with the wall supporting my back, when I'm startled by gale's sudden appearance. He looks down at me and I stand up straight away to look him in the eyes.  
"Gale!" I exclaim; standing as I put my hands on his face to assure myself he's real "How did you ge-"  
"shut up" He grabs my wrists and throws me to the ground. Oh god he's working for her. But wait. Gale's strong, very strong; if he wanted to hurt me, he could throw me much harder than that. Why didn't he? He crouches down so he's at eye level, which from anyone else's perspective would look intimidating, but his face seems to suggest otherwise. He gives me a look. A look that I've seen before. A look that says "trust me"  
"Gale…"  
"Shhh"  
"What?" I whisper, not really sure of what exactly is happening  
"Keep quiet. Just listen. It's Ula, she wants revenge. She's punishing you for the torment her family went through apparently. Trust me. I'm going to get you out of here, but you need to hang in there."  
"Ok…" I Breathe.  
"But she's watching you. Everything you say and do; she can see, so she can't know what I'm on your side." My eyes widen at this news. Before he gets up, I whisper his name.  
"Where are we going?" His face seems to express pain, but he just looks at me.  
"I don't know." He's never been good at lying either. "Don't worry about what I do next, I won't actually hurt you." He tells me as he raises his hand to strike me cross the face. Naturally I flinch, but gale's hand hardly touches my face; He's really on my side. He stands back up properly.  
"That was for speaking out of terms" he snaps.  
"What terms would they be" I play along. He gives my stomach a menacing look.  
"I'd be careful if I were you." He pats my baby bump. "Wouldn't want anything too bad to happen" and with that he leaves.

I have to give it to him; gale knew how to hit and where it hurts. Because I become really weary of everything I say and do, and do this by holding my stomach to protect it. It's as if Ula has become an invisible force. A force that's impossible to defeat.

**Peeta's point of view.**

When I wake up; I have to blink to adjust to the light. When I eventually can see, I figure out why. I look around and take in my surroundings. I'm in a forest, a familiar one at that, but then in dawns on me.  
"No. No. No. For the love of god, no." I find myself muttering. We're in our fist arena.

"Peeta!" I hear Katniss cry from behind me; and turn around to see her, along with Cinna and Haymitch as well, but they seem to still be asleep.  
"Katniss" I say as I hobble over to her, my leg is a bit rigid as a result to not moving very much for a few days. "I was so worried"  
"Me too" she says wrapping her arms around my neck and placing her head on my chest. I stroke her hair as she cries, trying to stay strong.  
"What's going to happen to us" She sniffs.  
"I don't know" I say "But do you think I could sit down, my leg's a bit tense."  
"Yeah, sorry" She say, lending me her hand so I can sit on the ground. She sits with me, entwining her fingers with mine, locking our hands together. We sit like this for a bit, until Haymitch interrupts us.  
"Seriously?"  
"What?" I protest, against what, I'm not exactly sure.  
"We could die at any minute and you two are _cuddling?_"  
"How do you know we could die at any minute?"  
"Well. We were kidnapped from the capitol and held hostage in a hovercraft, to be released in an arena built specifically for killing people. So I kind of assumed…"  
"Well don't assume. Anything can happen. Ok, so it's likely to be bad, whatever it is but keep your mind open." I begin to wander why Katniss hasn't said anything yet, but look down to see she's asleep on my shoulder.

She's woken up suddenly to hear Ula's voice booming into the arena.  
"Morning… tributes, see what I did there, funny isn't it. Well I guess you know where you are. So let me explain why. Thanks to you guys; my family died and I had to run away, into the forests, to wherever was safe. Ok. so I didn't like the hunger games any more than you did, but they were what kept my family alive, so by destroying them, you destroyed my family. Get it? So now you are all here. Don't worry. I have no control over the arena whatsoever so you can stay here alive for as long as you like. The only way anyone is coming out, however, is if they are the last alive. Now you are all probably wandering, what's the point? If you all have each other and the arena is safe why would anyone want to come out? Look around. Who's missing?"  
"She has Forest" I choke on each word as it leaves my mouth.  
"Bingo, to the boy with the bread. It's your choice. Don't worry; I'm not going to hurt her, who would want to injure a child? She's just not going to have parents. Well. I guess that's all from me for now. Have fun"

I watch as Katniss looks as if she is about to fall, so a hold quickly wrap my arms around her stomach and hold her up. She's crying hysterically now.  
"Shhh. Shhh. Katniss, it's ok. I promise you. It's going to be ok" she doesn't respond. She continues to cry. Cinna walks up to me and tells me to let him handle it, Haymitch wants a word.  
"This might have to be goodbye loverboy" he tells me  
"I know…"  
"The only question is; what does Katniss want?"  
"I don't know. But we still have the pact. We keep her alive whatever the cost." I remind him. He nods but says nothing as he stares at her. His eyes fall into despair.  
"I've never seen her this upset." I tell him  
"I have." He says "Only once."  
"When...?"  
"When she thought she'd lost you" as he tells me, each word becomes more and more quiet.

When Katniss has stopped screaming and shuts down in silence I sit with her head on my lap. I stroke her belly as she calms down. I watch her fists unclench and feel her breathing slow back down to a more normal pace.  
"Sorry" she whispers as she rolls over so her head, although still on my lap, is facing upwards towards me.  
"You shouldn't be"  
"I know. It's just. Well stress isn't good for the baby"  
"I know, but you couldn't help it, it's fine" I soothe. "And that baby is going to be ok"  
"What about forest" she says as her eyes glaze over with tears. I hesitate before saying anything.  
"We'll figure something out. I promise" these are the words that shock even me, because, for a second, I have hope.


	19. Chapter 19

**Katniss' point of view.**

I didn't sleep at all. Peeta doesn't know that I saw him sneak off into the woods in the dead of the night, so when he gets back to see me sat upright with my arms crossed, waiting for a an explanation; I small guilty smile crawls across his face.  
"Well" I whisper, making sure not to wake Haymitch or Cinna.  
"I'm glad you're up, come on" He says holding his hand out to me.  
"What?"  
"Run" He whispers. He pulls me up to my feet and we run through the forest. The combination of holding his hand, running through a forest barefoot and Peeta's grin makes me feel like a child again. We giggle as we run; the sun is just rising, so the air is still cold and darkish blue. When we finally stop to catch our breath I know where we are. The foot of the cave we took shelter in during our first games. When I see it I can't help but smile. This was _our _cave. This was _our last hope_. As I walk into it, I take a while to take in my surroundings. _To deal with each and every one of my memories._  
"It hasn't changed a bit" I whisper.  
"I know" Peeta whispers, in as much awe as me. He stands behind me and places one hand on my shoulder. "This is where it all began"  
"And probably where it'll end" I remind him.  
"I'm not going to let that happen" I love him. He always sounds so sure about these things; more importantly, he makes me sure of them. He wraps his arms around my stomach. "And don't worry, he'll be safe" wait. What? _He?_  
"He? I was almost certain it was another girl"  
"Nah. It's definitely a boy"  
"And how are you so sure?"  
"I can just tell. _**He **_feels different"  
"Whatever you say, Mr Mellark"

I look up at the sky. Frosty blue; it's going to be cold today. I try to do my jacket up but it's a bit small, and I don't think having a baby bump will help.  
"Here." Peeta says taking his jacket off and handing it to me.  
"No, you'll get cold"  
"I don't care, Katniss, you're looking after someone else as well. Just take the jacket." He holds it closer to me. I sigh and put it on, knowing I was fighting a losing battle. "See. Fits you better doesn't it" I roll my eyes, determined not to admit defeat. He smiles at me as I yawn. I'm really tired.  
"Katniss, how much sleep did you get last night?" his voice has gone from jokey to worried.  
"A bit" I say, avoiding eye contact.  
"Katniss…"  
"None" I sigh.  
"You need sleep" I subconsciously laugh at this. Remembering we had a similar argument in our first games, in this very cave.  
"Seriously Katniss, you need sleep." His eyes match his mood, deep and dark and worried.  
"Peeta, I'm fine, honestly"  
"Katniss, you've not been looking after yourself properly. If you're not going to do it, I am. So you need to sleep." He lectures.  
"Fine." I sigh "But you have to stay with me."  
"ok"

We lie on the floor of the cave just as we did in our first games. Peeta holds me through the nightmares and makes sure I don't hurt myself when I throw arms and legs about in my sleep. I wake up screaming at what I initially thought was a nightmare, but when I think about it in more detail, was just what happened yesterday.  
"Shhh. Shh. Katniss it's ok"  
"It's not though, is it Peeta." I shriek. He avoids my glare. "What if…" I trail off. "What if we never see her again" I choke. He still says nothing. I feel the tears roll down my cheeks, the Peeta from earlier, the one that sounded so sure we'd be safe soon, is gone. He's been replaced with the sad, mute man in front of me. He looks up at me for a moment, his eyes in despair.  
"Katniss, you know that I love you. And you know that I'd go to the moon and back to make you happy. I want you to know… that if. If it comes to it, I will die to keep her safe. To keep you safe. _To keep you happy._" I cannot believe he just said that.  
"No. Peeta. You are not dying! How could you honestly think that you dying would keep me happy, or safe? I Just… I can't believe that you think it would…"  
"Ok, Ok." He raises his hands up in defence "I was just letting you know, _if it came to it" _  
"If it comes to it, Peeta, you are going to go home with forest. She needs her father."  
"She also needs her mother." His voice tenses as he speaks.  
"What good am I? You've always been the better parent. She was daddy's little girl" my voice echoes through the cave until there is nothing left but silence. I come to a realisation of what I just said and my eyes well up immediately. My posture becomes awkward as I don't know what to do with myself. Part of me wants to cry, another part wants to run, scream, shout, hit something, whatever.  
"She still _**is**_" Peeta says out loud what we're both thinking. My chest tightens.  
"I want her back…" I whisper as Peeta wraps me in his arms and I sob into his shirt.  
"I know." Peeta's voice is crackly and raspy. "I know." He repeats.  
"That's it." I say as the sobs stop  
"What?" Peeta holds me at arms-length.  
"I'm still going to keep you alive." I say. Even I'm shocked by the determination in my voice. Peeta sighs.  
"Katniss. I won't let you. We'll figure som-"  
"No Peeta. I'm dying anyway. I want forest to grow up with someone there for her. I want her to have a dad. Because I know what it's like to grow up without one. You'll move on. Someone prettier will come along and you can restart your life. Forest can have a new mum and have the world's best dad and you will have more kids with whoever your new wife is. I want _you_ to be happy" He looks at me for a few moments and his face expresses what I can only say looks like pure sorrow.  
"You don't get it, do you" he breathes. "Katniss. No matter who comes along, no matter how beautiful or stunning they are, no matter how happy they make me; nobody compares to you. You mean everything to me. And that is why we are going to save her. We'll figure something out. We beat the games twice. We're the unstoppable star-crossed lovers from district twelve. We'll work something out" He wipes the tears from my cheeks with his thumb, before gingerly kissing my forehead as if to say 'Don't worry'  
"We should probably get back to Haymitch and Cinna. They'll be up by now." He says. "We can get some firewood on the way."

We trail back through the forest in silence, picking up the odd log or two as we walk. I keep looking at Peeta from a bit of a distance, wandering if I should speak up and apologise, or would that just make it worse? I'm not sure. I watch him as he lifts another log into his arms. Those hands. I'd always been fascinated by his hands. How could something so muscular and dangerous create such beautiful paintings? A memory springs to mind. _Once we had won the rebellion, when I was finally done being the mockingjay, when the adrenaline rush was over, I became both obsessed and depressed with Prim's death. I couldn't handle it and Peeta spent day after day trying to comfort me, until one day when I told him I would be fine. I told him to get out of the house; go to work, take a walk, get some fresh air, whatever. I told him I not to worry, kissed him before he left and shut the door. I ran upstairs, straight to the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of pain killers. I stared at it for about an hour, my hands shaking at the grip of the bottle. I remember the silence. It was like the world just stopped making noise. I opened the bottle.  
Click.  
I poured a few into my palm. They weren't any bigger than a penny each. I don't know how many would kill me, but I'd read the bottle over and over again, "No more than 2 doses a day, if more are consumed, seek medical help immediately. There were 4 in my hand. I tipped more into my out-stretched hand. Then it was all a blurry rush. Peeta ran past the door screaming my name, before noticing the pills in my hand. I knocked them back into my mouth before he could stop me. The next thing I knew was his hands were around my face and he was screaming at me to spit them out._ That's why I'm so fascinated by those hands. Too many times, those hands had saved my life. So that's why I walk up to him, drop the two logs I was carrying and slip my hands into his – causing him to drop everything he was carrying too.  
"I'm so sorry"


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Ok, So I haven't done an authors note for a while, but. I want to thank everyone for the reviews and Andrea, yes this story is very much still active! I'm not sure how long I can drag it out, but there is still more to come. I love all of you my lovely readers, I hope you're not too afraid of cliff hangers; I kinda love them:) Please don't forget to review/follow the story! x**

By lunchtime we're all pretty hungry and my back hurts from carrying the firewood back to the cornucopia. It's empty so we're taking shelter there; Peeta suggested that we use the cave, but I wanted to keep it for just me and him. It's _our cave. _We sit around the fire just at the mouth of the cornucopia and warm our hands.  
"What are we going to do for food then?" Peeta queries.  
"Well, we could hunt" Haymitch says  
"No weapons" I remind him  
"Berries, fruit, anything edible. It doesn't have to be alive" Cinna says.  
"To be honest, I'm not hungry" I sigh  
"You've got to eat Katniss, I'm not letting you starve" Peeta places his arm on my shoulder.  
"He's right, Katniss." Cinna agrees.  
"What's eating gonna do. Let's face it, I'm going to die anyway."  
"Actually, you could go into premature labour, or the baby could be still born or have all sorts of deformities." We all look at Haymitch with disbelief.  
"Haymitch, how do you… I mean… how…"  
"Katniss isn't the only one with a mother who works miracles. My mum used to help everyone in twelve." He explains to Peeta before turning to look at me. "Even if that baby if born alive and well, you won't be able to breastfeed. You need to eat sweetheart. And something tells me you can't get too many nutrients from a piece of bread and glass of water everyday" he says, referring to our diet from the hovercraft. He's right, but I find it hard to believe that this baby has much hope left. I avoid his glare, he seems very… 'With it'. I think it must be the sobriety. He can't have had a drink in a while. My face must express some sort of guilt, because Haymitch seems to suss what I'm thinking. He doesn't say anything though, I can still feel him staring at me, waiting for me to respond, so I shut my eyes and face down. My head is thumping with all this new information. I've heard too much of it in the last two days, but I'm determined not to lose it again. I take some deep breaths before looking up. They're all looking at me, waiting.  
"I… didn't eat much." I watch as Peeta's face drops when he hears the inevitable. His expression kills me a bit inside. And I have to lock my eyes on Haymitch to make sure I don't cry.  
"Well that's it. We're getting food, and Katniss is eating. Soon." Haymitch says. "Peeta, you're coming with me. Cinna you stay here and look after Katniss, ok?" They both nod and Peeta and Haymitch leave.

For a while, neither of us says anything. We don't even make eye contact, no matter how much he tries, I look away.  
"Katniss." He says. I've never not wanted to talk to Cinna. Ignoring him is difficult, too difficult. I turn to face him, still remaining silent.  
"Katniss, listen to me." I still don't say anything. He grabs both of my shoulders. "Katniss…" He sighs. "This is hopeless" I hear him mutter. He gets up and runs off. I don't care. Why should I? Everyone seems to think they know what's best for me. How can they know what's best for me when I don't even know myself.

"Katniss. Oi !Sweetheart. Katniss! Snap out of it." I hear Haymitch screech. It's only minutes later when I realise he's just inches from my face, shaking me back to reality.

"What?!" I blink a few times.  
"You did it again"  
"Haymitch, what are you talking about?" I say, just as I realise that I'm lying down on the floor.  
"You blacked out again, sweetheart."  
"Huh?" I say. I pull myself up so I'm sat upright. No one else is around, it's just Haymitch. "For how long?" I question. He shrugs.  
"Not long, five minutes? Something like that" he sighs.  
"Ok" I let out a short sigh of relief, five minutes isn't bad, it could have been worse.  
"Not really" He retorts. I shoot him a look. Who does he think he is, suddenly unloading this medical knowledge on us out of the blue? Why didn't he say anything before?  
"What? I'm just telling you the truth. You need to look after yourself more, why aren't you. You managed fine the first time. It's almost like you don't want that baby" He snaps. I look at my feet.  
"You… you do want that baby, Katniss?" His voice softens as he remembers that Peeta won't be far from earshot. I open my mouth to say something but can't seem to make any noise whatsoever.  
"I'm not sure…" I whisper. I watch Haymitch's expression change. "I did. To start with. When Peeta was back and everything was going fine. And then he found gale's shirt and I didn't want to live, myself. But then Cinna made me think about how this baby is Peeta's too and that I wouldn't want any part of Peeta to die…" I trail off. "…but now… Now I'm not sure I would want any part of Peeta to live like this, in a world like this." I whimper. Haymitch opens his mouth to say something but he's stopped by Peeta and Cinna's sudden reappearance.

"Guys! Look what we found" Peeta calls, holding handfuls of nuts, roots and berries in a basket he's fashioned out of his shirt. How is he not cold? He places the basket-shirt thing down on the floor before sitting next to me and clasping my hand in his.  
"Hey" he whispers. "Cinna said you needed to talk to Haymitch. Is everything alright?"  
"Yeah." I squeeze his hand to reassure him, because I know I'll end up crying if I say any more. We spend a while talking and eating, which is nice if I'm honest. The roots remind me of a time before the games, they were the one thing that would never stop growing, so we would eat them all year round. They're sweet and taste lovely with the tree-nuts as well, it's good to eat something.

When I've finished eating I lay down in what little sun is left. It must be late afternoon, maybe even early evening, but it's clearly gotten colder. I take Peeta's jacket off and instead of wearing it I wrap it round myself like a quilt. I curl up in a ball and scrunch my eyes shut. After a while, I've decided all hope of sleep is gone, but it's quite comforting in this position so I stay put. That's when I hear them. Haymitch and Cinna. I'm not sure where Peeta is but he's not around, collecting more firewood probably.  
"Is she asleep?" I hear Haymitch ask.  
"Yeah. Out like a light" Cinna answers.  
"Ok. Well thanks, for earlier. Not saying that Katniss had… drifted off… in front of Peeta. I think it's best if he stays calm at the moment, don't want to get him worried" did Haymitch and Cinna have… a pact? At least it's a good one. I don't need to worry about being choked in my sleep.  
"Yeah. What was that about anyway?" Cinna queries. I realise that he's not quite as informed as the rest of us.  
"It's part of her condition. She slips in and out of reality and usually blacks out."  
"Right. Ok. Anything else I should know?"  
"Do you know about Peeta's hijacking?"  
"Katniss may have mentioned it a bit, but not in full extend."  
"Ok. There's not much to know, to be honest. Things can trigger it. That's why we have to keep him calm." I decide I need to 'wake up' now, because I don't feel comfortable listening in on their conversation. I fake a yawn and sit up.  
"Oh sweetheart you're up" If I had a penny for every time he said that…  
"Good kip, girl on fire?" Cinna beams. It's been a while since I've been called that.  
"Yeah thanks. Where's Peeta?" I ask. Haymitch points towards the forest.  
"Gone for firewood." He says.  
"Thanks." I nod at them before running into the woods.

I find him gathering branches in the middle of the forest, although he wasn't hard to find. When only four of you are in the arena most noises you make don't go unnoticed. He's still not wearing a shirt, we left it at the cornucopia. How is he not cold? I don't want to move, I'm afraid I'll scare him off, as if I'm stalking my prey.  
"I know your there" He says, not taking his attention away from the scattered branches on the ground around him.  
"I know" I say in return.  
"Then why just stand there?"  
"Because I know things aren't ok." I hesitate. "Between us"  
"I know." He repeats.  
"I'm sorry" I whisper.  
"For what?" he knows why, I guess he just wants to hear it from me.  
"For not taking care of myself. For not eating. For almost killing this baby." I stare bleakly at my stomach as I talk. In fact, I concentrate on it so much that I don't even notice Peeta as he walks towards me and holds me in his arms. When I do notice, I lay my head on his chest.  
"It's ok." He soothes, taking my hands in his. "Because I know you didn't mean to do those things. I know you didn't mean for this to happen. And most importantly, I know you want this baby" He places both hands on my stomach. His certainty makes me want to throw up, but before I have the chance to do anything, something – or someone – stops me.  
"Ha. That's what you think, Mellark." Gale's voice snarls in behind us.


	21. Chapter 21

"Gale!" I beam. How could I forget gale? He promised to get us home safe. I run to him and do as I did in the hovercraft, touch his face to assure he's real.  
"Hey Catnip." He says, but stays put; arms crossed, staring at Peeta.  
"Gale I-"  
"Shhh." He interrupts. There's something… wrong about him. Something in his eyes. "I get it" he says, nodding towards Peeta. "Any chance to strip"  
"What?"  
"Don't you have a shirt?" he says. What's wrong with him? I thought he'd gotten over the whole Peeta thing.  
"I don't think you're the one to be joking about losing a shirt" Peeta retaliates. "And anyway, what do you mean _'that's what I think' _"  
"About Katniss wanting the baby" He says. I feel my jaw drop, how… why… how could he know. Why would he say that? In front of Peeta. What's wrong with him? My head fills with questions and my jaw remains rigid.  
"What?" Peeta's voice is riddled with confusion. I feel my face go scarlet.  
"Go on Katniss. Tell him" Gale taunts.  
"I… I don't know what you're talking about" I lie.  
"Really. Because when I was up on that hovercraft I could hear everything you said. If you don't want to tell him, I'm happy to do it" I stay silent. I have no idea what to do.  
"Fine." He sighs. There's a twisted happiness in his voice as he says "She doesn't want that baby." Everything stops in my head. I can't hear anything. Just white noise and nothingness.  
"Katniss! Answer me! Katniss!" it's Peeta's voice that I hear first. Loud and worried, not angry, but almost.  
"Katniss." He whispers, as if he's about to give up.  
"Peeta. I"  
"Look. She's clearly hiding it from you, she doesn't want that baby" Gale repeats. I shoot him a look.  
"I wasn't sure. Earlier. I wasn't sure at all. But I am now… I do want this baby. I do want your baby." I tell him. I cup his face in my hands.  
"Look in her eyes, Peeta. Do you trust her?" Gale taunts again. I break the gaze from Peeta's and stare at Gale straight on.  
"What's with you? You said you would save me. You told me that you were going to get me home, safe. And now you come into the arena. And you… you try to get me worked up. You try and get _Peeta _worked up. Are you crazy?! What if he went insane? What if the hijacking came back?" Gale holds the stare for a while, he swallows.  
"People change" That's it. That's what gets me. I clench my fist and punch him square in the jaw. It doesn't do much but baffle him for a while but I notice something when he swings his head to the left. An earpiece in his right ear. Ula. She's controlling him, manipulating him in some way. Before gale manages to retaliate, Peeta grabs both of his arms behind his back, leaving gale unable to move. I look into his grey seam eyes.  
"Calm it, catnip. Honestly, what was that for?" He taunts.  
"You gave me hope, and then took it away from me. That's enough to make anyone dangerous." I breathe. Then I grab the earpiece and rip it from his ear.  
"YOU SEE THIS!" I shriek to the sky. "YOU SEE THIS ULA. YOU'VE GOT NOTHING. NO CONTROL AT ALL."

We take gale back to the cornucopia and give him some food and water. He tells us everything, the torture, the attempted hijacking; Ula tried anything that had a chance at working.  
"I'm sorry Katniss. I could have ruined everything. I can't believe I said that."  
"Don't worry." I tell him. "I shouldn't have said it"  
"hmm." Gale murmurs.  
"What?" I ask.  
"Huh? Oh. I… It's nothing. I just. Well, I just couldn't imagine not wanting a child." He stutters. I look at my feet and think. He's right, come to think of it, he has always wanted a family. Maybe that's why he found comfort in Ula. She was everything he wanted, or at least he thought she was.  
"So how are we going to get out?" I ask, quickly changing the subject.  
"I'm not sure it'll work, but I think I have an idea…"  
"Go on" Peeta, says. He, along with Haymitch and Cinna, has stayed silent for the entire conversation (probably because they find it awkward), until now. Now he seems to have an interest in what is being said. Gale looks to the sky.  
"What time would you say it is?" He says  
"About… 7, maybe 8 o'clock."  
"Ok. Good. Ula will be asleep" I look at him, expecting answers. "She never sleeps when you'd expect. That way she can see and hear almost everything." He explains.  
"Ah. Makes… sense. I guess. So what's the plan?"  
"Well. You know that Ula tried to hijack me. what if she did… it just went a little wrong."  
"Sorry, you lost me" Peeta says.  
"Her aim is to keep you here as long as it takes for you to drive each other insane and kill one another. But if I… sped up the process. Not properly" He holds his hands up to assure us "just so it looks like it, she would probably come and take me from the arena. I could easily knock her out and take control over the hovercraft."  
"Sounds a little far-fetched" Haymitch adds  
"I don't see you coming up with a better idea" I say, defending the little hope I have for this plan.  
"But we only have one shot at it" Cinna reminds us.  
"I don't care. We're trying it." I tell them. "As long as you guys are in on it too." They exchange glances.  
"I'm in" Peeta says.  
"Me too" Cinna agrees. We all look at Haymitch. He doesn't say anything, but nods; which I guess is better than nothing.

The next morning I awake with anticipation. It's early, but I don't sleep in, and neither does Peeta so we head to the cave. I think through the plan over and over in my head. We come back to the cornucopia just after sunrise. Gale sees us there, pretends to hit Peeta. Peeta hits him back. Gale 'beats him to a pulp'. Peeta 'dies'. I'm screaming. Cinna holds me away from his body and gale is held back by Haymitch. That's when Ula comes to take gale away and he knocks her out.  
"It's going to be fine, Katniss. Calm down."  
"What if something goes wrong" I say. We're at the cave by now.  
"Nothing will. Katniss, I didn't think I'd ever trust him; but for once I trust him with my life." How can Peeta be so confident? I kiss him gingerly on the lips before looking up to the sky. We need to get back soon.  
"Come on" I say as a grab his hand and run.


	22. Chapter 22

**Ok guys. I want to thank anyone that has reviewed/favourited/followed this story! You are awesome, Please keep them coming :D Sorry that this chapter is a bit fast paced and less detailed then the others, but there are a few more chapters to go. Don't worry though! I'm going to do a sequel so... Yay:) Thanks for reading, please review! xx**

Sure enough, gale is waiting for us when we get back. I give Peeta a quick glance. My heart is racing and I can feel my pulse in my eyelids. Gale has a look of determination in his eyes, but fake anger is expressed across his face. I have to give it to him, he's a good actor.  
"Mellark" He says through gritted teeth. "Who the hell do you think you are?!" And thus the plan begins. They argue for a while when gale makes a swing for him. Peeta punches Gale back. That's when gale hit's Peeta in the temple. I don't mean to scream but I do. Then everything goes so quickly. I can hardly remember anything happening before Cinna is holding me back, telling me that I don't want to see him, no matter how much I think I do, I don't. Everyone is being so convincing, I'm not sure whether to believe them or not. 'It's not real. It's definitely not real' I think through in my head.

A slight humming fills the arena. The hovercraft, she fell for it.  
"Gale!" She shrieks. Running towards him "What the hell are you doing?" She pulls him away from Peeta's 'dead' body.  
"Ula. I." He starts but then grabs her elbow. I don't know what he's doing, but hit works; Ula falls to the ground unconscious within a few seconds.  
"Quick! She won't be out for long" His voice is sharp and urgent. He lends Peeta a hand to help him up, and we all run into the hover craft. When inside, gale starts pressing buttons and pulling levers. Everything happens so fast. I watch the hovercraft door pull shut and feel the floor beneath me vibrate as we take off.  
"Where's forest?" I panic.  
"Don't worry" Haymitch says "Found her" He scoops her up in his arms and hands her to Peeta.  
"Daddy!" She beams.  
"Do you want me to check she's ok? Just make sure she's not injured or ill"  
"Please" I say. "Thanks Haymitch." I take a seat by the window, next to Peeta; entwining his fingers with mine.  
"We're going home" he whispers.  
_

After a few hours of being in the hovercraft, I finally begin to relax. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulders and close my eyes.  
"You were really convincing" He tells me  
"Well I had just watched my husband be beaten to a pulp by my best friend."  
"I guess" He laughs before kissing my hair. We stay like this for a while, until a though occurs. I sit up.  
"Gale?" I query.  
"A huh." he says, although he's not very focused; since he's taken the role of pilot, seeing as he's the only one of us who knows how to control a hovercraft.  
"We left Ula in the arena, right?"  
"Yeah"  
"Well what's going to happen to her"  
"Oh, I don't know. She made sure the arena was habitable, so she could just stay there for the rest of her life. Or she could kill herself. But I really don't know."  
"Ok." I say, lying back down on Peeta's shoulder.

I guess the excitement wore off and I fell asleep, because the next thing I know is that I'm asleep on the window seat alone. I look up and find Peeta and Haymitch gone. Gale is still there, though; steering wheel in one hand, coffee in the other hand. He looks over his shoulder and notices I'm up.  
"Catnip!" he beams. "Oh hey, guess what? We should be in 12 in about an hour"  
"an hour?" I repeat.  
"Yeah, why?"  
"How long was I asleep?"  
"You slept through the night" he tells me "I've never seen anyone sleep so quickly" he laughs.  
"How's forest?"  
"She's fine. She was a little hungry, so we gave her some food, but that was it really"  
"No injuries, nothing?" I say  
"Nothing at all. She's fine."  
"Where is she?" I ask. Gale points to one of the three doors behind me.  
"With Cinna. Peeta and Haymitch are still asleep. It's pretty early."  
"How long have you been flying this thing?"  
"Since we took off"  
"Are you not tired?"  
"No, I'm fine. Katniss, go, look after forest. I'm fine."

I do as he says and find Cinna and forest sat on the floor of what looks like a child's bedroom. I watch them for a moment. I think he's telling her a story.  
"…And then the princess took her magical bow and arrow and shot the goblin's hand; saving the prince." I watch forest eyes widen as she takes in every word that he says. That's when she notices me.  
"Mummy!" she stands up.  
"Hey sweetie" I kneel on the floor and lift her into my arms. "What've you been doing?"  
"Uncle Cinna telled me a story"  
"Did he? What about?" I gasp, even though I heard enough to know exactly what it's about.  
"About a princess. And some goblins"  
"Ah. Well that's the good thing about uncle Cinna. He tells very good stories." She giggles and nods as I sit her back down.  
"What does the princess look like? Is she pretty?" forest asks Cinna.  
"Very pretty indeed. She has long brown hair that she wears in a braid. And a dress that looks like it's on fire."  
"But the prince is very handsome too." I add "He has lovely blonde hair and is very strong" I tell her.  
"Do they get married in the end?" she asks.  
"And live happily ever after" Peeta adds. I was so engrossed in the story that I didn't realise he was at the door. "Katniss, can I have a word?" he whispers. I nod and get up.  
"I'll be back in a minute honey." I tell forest before getting up and following Peeta out of the room.

"What are you doing?" He says. His face is almost pained.  
"What? I was just telling her a story."  
"The story. Our story. I don't want her to know about that. About the country's history. About what we did."  
"Why?"  
"What do you mean why? Katniss. We went through it so that she didn't have to. Could we at least protect her from knowing about it? At least until she's older." I look into his eyes. They look so… hurt.  
"Ok. Peeta. We can keep it to ourselves until she's older." I give him a hug. "But don't worry about this story. She has no idea what it means. It's just fictional."  
"Ok" he whisper.

A while later gale calls us all to the body of the hovercraft.  
"Guys. We're in 12"


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you guys for reading, I'm afraid there are only a few chapters left. But don't worry! I am going to do a sequel! So don't give up on this story, and i really hope you like the next one. Dont forget to favourite/follow/review! x**

It took a while for things to get back to normal. Peeta spent the first few months back in twelve making sure I was ok. He made sure I was happy, I was eating; that I was healthy. Eventually I managed to look after myself and become independent again. Peeta went back to work, I went to see sae every day, went for a walk with forest, checked Haymitch was still alive, spoke to Cinna. Everything went back to normal. Or as normal as our lives seemed to get.

So this morning, like every other, I wake up in Peeta's arms screaming at some nightmare. He's not awake though, so I can't have been screaming too loudly. I crawl out of bed and splash my face with water, my 7 month baby bump pressing against the sink. It's odd to think that in just 2 months forest will have a baby brother or sister. Peeta's still certain that it's a boy, I'm not so sure. I stare in the mirror. The deep purple circles under my eyes express my tiredness more than any words could say. I sigh, knowing I won't get any more sleep, so I might as well get up now. I look in to forest's room, she's like her father; she likes her sleep, so I leave her in peace to enjoy waking up when she wants.

I make my way downstairs and look through the cupboards in the kitchen; bread, coffee, leaf tea, jam, flour, sugar, some pastry mix and dried fruit. Nothing I want to eat. I check the fridge to; Milk, eggs, cheese, carrots, potatoes and garlic. Still nothing. Why don't we have any game, or poultry? I decide to make some coffee to wake myself up. But something stops me. An unpleasant, yet familiar feeling attacks both my lower back and stomach.  
"Peeta!" I shriek. He's still asleep he won't be able to hear me. I try and stumble my way up the stairs, stopping when the pain gets too much. I open the door to our room.  
"Peeta! Peeta, something's wrong." I say. I try to stay calm but the tears are streaming down my face. He blinks his eyes awake.  
"Katniss… what is it?" He says sleepily.  
"Peeta. It's the baby, something's wrong with the baby"  
"What" He says, the concern catches his voice in his throat. "What is it?"  
"It's hard to say exactly." I tell him.  
"Come on I'll get you to the hospital." He says, literally falling out of bed and grabbing some shoes.  
"What about forest?" I ask.  
"We'll drop her off with Cinna." He says. When we got back to 12 we let him stay in one of the few empty houses here.  
"Ok" I sniff.

When we get to the hospital everything slows down and I feel like something's wrong with time. I'm put in a wheelchair to give my back some support and so I don't have to walk everywhere. Peeta stays with me for most of the time, until we're taken to a room where I'm made to lie down on a bed. That's when Peeta is asked to have a word with a doctor. They're almost out of earshot but I can pick up some words. The doctor likes to speak with his hands a lot, so I guess that helps. I don't understand much of the conversation but I manage to hear that there is a '50/50 chance.' Of what? Peeta comes back sits at my bedside.  
"Peeta what's happening?" I ask. He gives me what can only be described as a suppressed smile. "Peeta, please." I beg. He sighs.  
"You've gone into premature labour." He holds my hand. A small, timid noise escapes my mouth.  
"What" I whisper. "It was my fault wasn't it. It was all my fault."  
"No Katniss, none of this was your fault. Sometimes these things just happen." That's when the doctor walks through the door. But not doctor Christophers, someone else.

I look at him from my bed. He seems rather relaxed, which shows he's done this before so I guess I trust him. He has grey seam eyes and the same olive skin and dark hair as me, which in some way comforts me a bit.  
"Good morning Mrs Mellark, I'm Doctor Selkirk. I need you to understand that however scary the situation may be, I'm going to need you to stay calm. That'll make my job a lot easier as well." Easy for him to say, I think to myself.  
"I understand that this baby isn't due for another…" He flips some pages on his clipboard. "9 weeks. That's ok; it means that the baby has a very good chance of surviving." He explains. "I do have to say, because you seem very… shaken up by the situation; I'm required to ask you if you like to have a dose or two of morphling, to ease the pain. It would however make you seem less present during labour, but it's entirely your decision." Without the chance of a second thought, I nod and two needles worth of morphling are injected into my bloodstream.

The doctor was right about me being 'less present', because I immediately slip away into a strangely contorted universe. I'm running through the meadow in 12 when I come across some primroses. I pick one up and examine it, before placing it back on the ground. I carry on running but stop again when I get to my old house in the seam. No-one's home so I carry on running, still not sure where I'm going. I pass several other places and people as I go; gale taking posy to school, Peeta and Thom on their way to work, Delly hanging up some washing, Haymitch feeding his geese, Cinna settling into his new home. Everyone seems so happy. District 12 has never been so… Colourful. That's what's different. Everything is so bright and beautiful. The bright blue in the sky, the emerald grass, the flowers have changes as well. They've gone from dull pastel colours to neon oranges and purples and yellows. Lighting up the whole street. They continue to get bigger and brighter, until I can't see anything but them. Luminous flowers taking over everything in my vision. But however weird it may be, I like it. I like not knowing what is happening. I don't try to escape. I touch the petals of the orange ones, soft and fuzzy, like a giant peach. But then it fades, I watch the houses and people around me dissolve as I return back to normality.

I blink a few times and take in what's happening. Oh god. It feels like I've been run over by a train. I look at Peeta. He's smiling at me with sympathetic eyes.  
"Mr Mellark?" the doctor says. He snaps out of his gaze.  
"Yeah?"  
"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" the small smile turns into a wide grin. He nods. I wriggle up so I can see what's going on. I forget every worry I had immediately. He's perfect. _He's _perfect. Peeta was right, as always. But he's so tiny. Tinier than forest was. I want to hold him. As soon as the cord was cut the timid cries echo through the room. I just want to hold him, wrap my arms around him and never move from this spot, but before I can even touch him they whisk him away, out of the room.  
"Wait, no…" I cry, but they don't stop. They continue to carry him out.  
"Katniss it's ok" Peeta whispers, returning to his seat next to my bed. He takes my hand. "It's ok"  
"where are they taking him?"  
"To an intensive care unit. He might need help breathing for a week or so. You can see him though as much as you like though."  
"Help breathing?"  
"Yeah, he's not very strong yet Katniss."  
"oh…" I say.  
"Hey. Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. He'll be coming home with us before you know it" He offers a sympathetic smile, but for once, I don't know if that's enough.


	24. Chapter 24

**One short chapter left after this! Thanks for reading! Like I said, there is a sequel to come! Review/Favourite/follow xx**

About an hour later, I have a quick bath, wash my hair with the hospital's shampoo and get changed. I make my way down a corridor and round the corner. I find a door with a sign on it, reading "New-born intensive care room B." that's him. I find Peeta sat next to an incubator, his hand through one of the holes at the side of it. At a closer look, I see that his index finger is wrapped in a tiny fist. I sit at the opposite side of the incubator and hold back the tears. Peeta doesn't look sad, just worried.  
"He's beautiful isn't he" Peeta says, breaking the silence.  
"So beautiful" I agree.  
"He's going to look just like you"  
"Hmmm" I take in every detail of his face. He's got the tiniest wisp of dark hair, but he doesn't look like me in his face. "He has your nose." I whisper.  
"Wait until he wakes up. His eyes are amazing"

Sure enough, when he wakes up I notice his beautiful grey eyes. He's like the perfect mix of both of us. Peeta walks in and hands me a cardboard cup full of coffee.  
"We should probably call people soon"  
"Yeah. I'll let Cinna know. That way he can bring forest to see her brother." I tell him.  
"Great. So I get to let Haymitch know…" Peeta jokes.  
"Sorry." I smile, taking a sip of my coffee. It's strong and almost mechanical tasting so I put the cup on the table behind me. "I'm just going to call Cinna then." I say getting up from my seat.

"…_yes… Ok. Thanks for looking after forest as well… please that'd be great... Yes forest can come… I think she should meet him too… No, I'm fine… Oh actually there is one more thing… yeah could you get Haymitch to come too… if he's awake yet that is… Yeah, it'd just save Peeta a trip… ok… Thanks Cinna… see you later then… bye" _I hang up the hospital reception phone.  
"Thanks" I say to the receptionist.  
"No problem!" She beams, "Is there anyone else you want to tell, you only made two phone calls."  
"Oh no, it's fine… Actually. There is one person I need to call." I say picking the phone back up. Once again, I forgot gale.  
_ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. _It doesn't stop ringing. I actually fade out for a minute.  
_" Soldier Gale Hawthorne speaking."_ I sigh. He's in soldier mode.  
"Gale, sorry. I should have tried your mobile, it's me!"_  
"Catnip! Hey what's up."  
_"Actually I was wandering where you are now"  
_"Well I'm in 11 at the moment."_ He's spent a lot of time there… is something up, I don't care.  
"Oh, ok. Well-"  
_"Actually Katniss, I've been meaning to call, I…"_  
"Gale, I had the baby" I interrupt.  
_"What, oh Katniss! That's great. But I thought. Are you ok. is the baby ok, can I come and see, is it a boy or a girl…"  
_"Gale! Calm down, yes you can come and see, just get to 12 as soon as possible, ok?"  
_"Ahaha; ok catnip. I'll see you in a few hours!" _He beams  
"See you later gale." I say, and then the phone line rings flat.

I sit back down across from Peeta next to the incubator. He gives me a quick smile, but tries not to take his eyes off the baby for too long.  
"So what are we going to call him?" he asks.  
"I don't know. I… what do you want to call him?"  
"What about Baelfire" Cinna chimes in from the door way.  
"Daddy!" Forest squeals.  
"Hey sugarplum" he beams "Shhh. You have to be real quiet."  
"Why?" she whispers  
"Because your little brother's sleeping" he picks her up and rests her on his lap. "see" forest gasps.  
"My brother?" she points one of her small fingers to the tiny figure in front of her. Peeta nods.  
"Your baby brother"  
"What's his name?" she asks.  
"That's what we were thinking" I say.  
"I said, Baelfire." Cinna adds, putting one hand on my shoulder.  
"Baelfire?"  
"It's an old fashioned name, meaning bonfire. Seems fitting to me."  
"Baelfire." I repeat. I look at Peeta, both eyebrows raised.  
"I like it" he nods. "...but maybe we could shorten it? We could call him Bae?" I smile.  
"Bae it is then" I confirm.

Moments later I realise that I'm actually quite hungry.  
"Peeta, could we get some food?"  
"You can honey, I'm not too hungry." He tells me.  
"Ok. I'll be back soon." I say. I kiss my thumb and stroke Bae's face. I scruff up Peeta's hair before I leave, picking forest up from his lap with Cinna right behind me. We make our way down to the cafeteria and each have a bowl of soup. It tastes ok, better than the coffee, but it's not as good as homemade stuff, like any of sae's broths.  
"You look tired." Cinna points out.  
"Sorry, I did just give birth. It's a little exhausting" I say sardonically.  
"Sorry. So other than that, are you ok"  
"I'm fine. What about you, settled in at home yet?"  
"Yeah. But I need something to keep me busy. And the house is so big, I was thinking of setting up a business" he tells me. A small smile creeps onto my lips.  
"What kind of business?"  
"Well I'm a stylist. And a designer. I thought I'm make clothes. I mean, I know that there's not a massive demand for them in 12, but I could send them to the other districts if I needed to. Anything to keep me busy really."  
"Sounds great Cinna."  
"Yes." Forest adds. "Uncle Cinna showed me some dresses that he maked."  
"What did you think of them sweetie?" I ask  
"I think they were very pretty" She says. Taking another spoonful of soup.  
"Well I think forest approves the idea."  
"I can't say no to her now, can I girl on fire?"

When we return back to Bae's room, I'm surprised to see gale and Peeta sat down… having a chat?  
"Gale!" I run over to hug him, catching a glance of something gold on his left hand. Wait. It couldn't be… no. my god he's not… but. Then why? I give him a hug.  
"Who is she" I whisper before pulling away and looking him in the eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but just ends up smiling.  
"Trust you to notice catnip."

He shows me a photo from his wallet. Him and a woman about my age. She's tall, pale and has deep red hair. He tells me her name is Garnett, she's 25 and she's amazing. That's why he's spent so long in 11. They've been staying in an apartment there. He's going to quit working in the military and they're engaged. I can't help but smile as much as him as he tells me these things, because we both know that she's what's been missing his whole life. She's the one that he will start life with.

"So. Bae… why Bae?" He asks.  
"It's an old fashioned name. It means bonfire. Cinna thought it would be a suitable name"  
"I think it's great." He nods. "He's so cute. And to think, in 8 months I'll be a dad too." He says.  
"Gale…"  
"Yeah. You heard me right"  
"I… well… congratulations."


	25. Chapter 25

So that's how I ended up here. Sat in my kitchen with two children and my husband. Gale went on to marry that beautiful redheaded girl, and had a daughter a few months later. Sae's still going strong, with the help of Grey. Haymitch hasn't drunken himself to death yet and Cinna's dress making business keeps him occupied. The bakery makes enough money to get by, and keeps Peeta happy. As for me, I'm still not entirely well. I'm still alive, and will be for a while, just as long as I don't get too stressed. But what's important is I'm happy. My children are happy. Peeta's happy. And my friends are happy. Life goes on. Maybe one day I will tell forest that the princess in her stories is me, but for the time being the past didn't happen. And they will always, as they are now, just stories.

**Thank you all for reading! I love you all for reading this far. Sorry it has to come to an end. But if you really really liked it, there is a sequel to come! I love you all my lovely readers please review the story if you liked it. Tell me what you want to see in the next one! Thanks again for reading,**

**MadcapScribbler xx :D**


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